Tag: management

Why we do what we do? (Values)

Why you do what you do? 

What gives you meaning and purpose in life (home, work and personal/professional)?   According to researchers our values gives us meaning and purpose when it comes to our relationships, service to others and everyday decisions. 

Values are magical, they are our internal compass that steer us towards what’s favorable to us in our everyday existence.  When there’s big decisions that are made in our lives our core value guides us toward the answer.   In comparison with goals or plans which are set to focus on the outcomes or results in our lives.   Our values dictate how we carry out those big decisions we make daily in our lives.  They are as Jan Stassen said, “situation independent decision helpers.” 

Every decision you make in your life, no matter the context, you depend on your values to make the final decision. Your values resonate deeply. You are drawn toward them effortlessly. So, they aren’t just what you think is good. They are what you celebrate and measure success by. They are what you want to be remembered for. They are what you will sacrifice and go the extra mile for.

If you google “personal values” we find over 1 billion of us searched out this term.  There are core values such as Respect, Honesty, Trust, Caring and Fairness are some of my core values.   Values are individual and personal preferences of what we feel takes precedence over everything in our lives.    The bottom line: values are mostly held beliefs that is entrenched in our lives in our psyche, they are the barometer in which we judge things on a good and bad scale.  

  We begin to form them early in our childhood and it changes throughout our lifetime, they motivate us to act and behave in certain ways.  If you don’t like what you see in the mirror check out what you value most in life that’s why you do what you do.

How to align yourself with your values

In order to live a purposeful life, we need to make a conscious effort a conscious choice to align ourselves daily with our goals that coincides with our core value system.  Quote: “How we spend our day is how we spend our lives” -Annie Dillard

How do you spend your day? Take a look at your calendar, or the things you did within the last 24 hours.  This is a snapshot of what’s important in your life. Did those activities reflect you (your core values).  For example, is health and wellness apart of your daily or weekly routine?  Family time?  Time for personal development? How about, focusing on your spiritual or meditative fitness.   To quote Aristotle, “we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit”.  If your routines are not reflecting what your values represent, then you need to change to align yourself with your values system.  

Values gives us meaning it gives us our purpose in which we formulate the goals throughout our lives and the destiny we want to realize. The Choices that we make weather be our relationship we form, how we relate to our society or the type of organization we choice to become apart of all reflect our values.

So, the better you know your core values, the better you make decisions in your life, and the better you align yourselves with career paths, having better relationships, and doing meaningful extracurricular activities.

Please share with same else

Dr D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

Remember, you determine your destiny…

http://thecarolyledestinygroup.one

My Story Behind Personal Growth/Development

                                        

Day and night, I saw the harms of drugs and gang violence. We could see the anguish on my mother’s face every day. Eventually, she succumbed to depression. We never could understand why we were staying at my grandmother’s house so much. In my book “The Enemy in the Bush”, there’s a picture of us sad-faced kids at my grandmother’s house. We had no idea what was going on in our mother’s life. But as we grew older, we did.

Mom always wanted to be a teacher when she migrated to the North. I remember her telling me when I was a child. But the reality of life stole her dreams, goals, and aspirations and she never realized her true potential. Instead, she became the head of the house, separated from my father, who was fighting his demon of alcoholism. My mother raised a total of 10 kids. When I reached the age of 11, my three older brothers moved out of the house. Seven of us, ranging from 4 through 11, remained at home. Seven children living in a three-bedroom apartment in an impoverished neighborhood. This was my reality.

As a boy, I saw my mother struggle and sacrifice just to put food on the table. Sometimes, I would hear her argue with God about the hardships she faced. Her many prayers went up to heaven to ask God to help us make it through another day. As a child, I had few of the comforts enjoyed by others who lived in the suburbs. We had lots of love, but little in the way of material things. 

My mother died without realizing her dream to be a teacher. She died with her dream still inside of her.  I made her dream a reality by becoming an adjunct professor for 10 years. Despite lacking the resources, we needed to meet our basic needs of her family, we survived. But my mother never realized her true potential and purpose in this life. I often wondered when I was older why my mother hadn’t pursued her dream. Perhaps fear and self-doubt held her back. I remember how my siblings and I made a pact never to follow our mother’s path. When I questioned the WHY behind our decision, I knew it boiled down to the struggles, hardships, and pain we saw her go through. Seven of us made this covenant, but only two of us had successful careers and made positive lifestyle changes. My sister Mary became a successful certified social worker/ supervisor working in hospitals and is moving towards private practice. I finished a successful military career as a senior ranking officer and continued as a DoD civilian working complex mission-oriented jobs for our government. I also became an adjunct professor, author, and contributing academic author. Now I’m a certified John Maxwell coach, trainer, and speaker.   

If you examine our lives, we knew where we were and had our eyes on where we wanted to go. We had a definite plan to get there. Living in impoverished conditions gave us the motivation to never lack for anything again. We wanted to be able to sustain ourselves. We were intentional about reaching our goals and never looked back. We were purpose driven. We had a direction, a destiny to reach. When we looked back, we celebrated how much we had grown.

Psychologist Charles Garfield has worked with many successful people including astronauts, world-class athletes, scientists, business leaders, and other high achievers. He believes that the success of any endeavor starts with having a mission. You must have specific goals accompanied by a strong desire. “A dream becomes a goal,” said Garfield. “The goal becomes the achievement.” I repeat this saying often. Achievers reach their dreams by being intentional in their actions, which means working with purpose and making every action count. It’s about focusing on doing the right thing, moment by moment, day by day, and then following through consistently. Successful people aren’t scattered and haphazard. As Zig Ziglar said, be an aiming specific, not a wandering generality.

Never stop improving. Never stop growing yourself. 

How intentional are you? As you proceed through your day, do you have a plan and a purpose for everything you do? Do you know where you’re going and why you’re doing what you’re doing, or simply drifting down the stream of life?

In the theme song from the motion picture Mahogany, Diana Ross brings this message home:

“Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showin’ you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?”

             By Dr. D

http://thecarolyledestinygroup.one

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Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD