Tag: #Personal Development

Sharpen Your Ax to Develop the Best in You

Ecclesiastes 10:10 says, “If the ax is dull and its edges unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success.”

Setting out to accomplish any goal without the necessary skills or tools is like trying to chop wood with a dull ax. You must overcompensate your efforts by applying more strength and muscle to accomplish the task, requiring additional time and energy. The duller the ax, the stronger the effort and the less efficiency involved.

Developing your leadership skills is critical at every level within any workplace or organization. Why? Because these aptitudes contribute to a healthy and effective workplace culture. In fact, 83% of organizations state the importance of cultivating leadership at all levels within the workplace hierarchy.

Yet, many also express their leaders are simply not ready to helm the organization. Despite the widespread availability of comprehensive leadership books and programs, people often lack the skills needed to lead an organization at any level.

These considerations bring me back to my military days. I initially did so well when tasked with an assignment to turn around inadequate conditions and boost morale amongst soldiers by helping them acquire new skills and abilities. Eventually accomplishing this goal, I was overjoyed to see the soldiers so proud of themselves. I went on to believe my next assignment would offer a chance to relax and relieve the pressures of my last one: only to find that I was embarking on a new challenge even more demanding than the last. With each new rank and level of responsibility came an even greater test. It was during these times that I realized the Army wanted me to excel and develop my skills at a higher echelon: with my superiors not only expecting elevated levels of proficiency and competency but also encouraging continuous learning and the application of related skills to accomplish any given mission. Hence, the Army was seemingly more interested in my leadership development than my ability to learn new tasks I’d only go on to forget months later.

There’s a difference between learning new skills and developing them as a leader within an organization—as new learning adds new skills to the toolbox that are further honed and utilized for their intended purpose. In essence, this helps leaders solve diverse problems facing any organization. Development inspires leaders to take on all challenges presented with the right mindset and a passion to train others to resolve problems, as well. This is even more true in the diverse and fast-paced world we live in today.

As leaders in the workplace (or even as parents in our homes), we need to sharpen our tools so they are ready to tackle any given challenge and ultimately summon the best return and reward for our efforts. With respect to leadership, this means developing related skills to influence those around you. As a parent, improving leadership aptitudes can bring everyone closer as a family and result in more congenial conditions at home.

To quote John Maxwell, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” As a leader, if you lack the skills needed to successfully execute this role, sharpen your ax through education, training, and professional development. Likewise, as a parent, sharpen your ax by developing effective communication strategies with your family members, improving your listening skills, and serving as a role model for those you love.

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group
https://linktr.ee/TheCarolyleDestinyGroup
(Tomorrow’s Destiny becomes Today Direction)

My Story Behind Personal Growth/Development

                                        

Day and night, I saw the harms of drugs and gang violence. We could see the anguish on my mother’s face every day. Eventually, she succumbed to depression. We never could understand why we were staying at my grandmother’s house so much. In my book “The Enemy in the Bush”, there’s a picture of us sad-faced kids at my grandmother’s house. We had no idea what was going on in our mother’s life. But as we grew older, we did.

Mom always wanted to be a teacher when she migrated to the North. I remember her telling me when I was a child. But the reality of life stole her dreams, goals, and aspirations and she never realized her true potential. Instead, she became the head of the house, separated from my father, who was fighting his demon of alcoholism. My mother raised a total of 10 kids. When I reached the age of 11, my three older brothers moved out of the house. Seven of us, ranging from 4 through 11, remained at home. Seven children living in a three-bedroom apartment in an impoverished neighborhood. This was my reality.

As a boy, I saw my mother struggle and sacrifice just to put food on the table. Sometimes, I would hear her argue with God about the hardships she faced. Her many prayers went up to heaven to ask God to help us make it through another day. As a child, I had few of the comforts enjoyed by others who lived in the suburbs. We had lots of love, but little in the way of material things. 

My mother died without realizing her dream to be a teacher. She died with her dream still inside of her.  I made her dream a reality by becoming an adjunct professor for 10 years. Despite lacking the resources, we needed to meet our basic needs of her family, we survived. But my mother never realized her true potential and purpose in this life. I often wondered when I was older why my mother hadn’t pursued her dream. Perhaps fear and self-doubt held her back. I remember how my siblings and I made a pact never to follow our mother’s path. When I questioned the WHY behind our decision, I knew it boiled down to the struggles, hardships, and pain we saw her go through. Seven of us made this covenant, but only two of us had successful careers and made positive lifestyle changes. My sister Mary became a successful certified social worker/ supervisor working in hospitals and is moving towards private practice. I finished a successful military career as a senior ranking officer and continued as a DoD civilian working complex mission-oriented jobs for our government. I also became an adjunct professor, author, and contributing academic author. Now I’m a certified John Maxwell coach, trainer, and speaker.   

If you examine our lives, we knew where we were and had our eyes on where we wanted to go. We had a definite plan to get there. Living in impoverished conditions gave us the motivation to never lack for anything again. We wanted to be able to sustain ourselves. We were intentional about reaching our goals and never looked back. We were purpose driven. We had a direction, a destiny to reach. When we looked back, we celebrated how much we had grown.

Psychologist Charles Garfield has worked with many successful people including astronauts, world-class athletes, scientists, business leaders, and other high achievers. He believes that the success of any endeavor starts with having a mission. You must have specific goals accompanied by a strong desire. “A dream becomes a goal,” said Garfield. “The goal becomes the achievement.” I repeat this saying often. Achievers reach their dreams by being intentional in their actions, which means working with purpose and making every action count. It’s about focusing on doing the right thing, moment by moment, day by day, and then following through consistently. Successful people aren’t scattered and haphazard. As Zig Ziglar said, be an aiming specific, not a wandering generality.

Never stop improving. Never stop growing yourself. 

How intentional are you? As you proceed through your day, do you have a plan and a purpose for everything you do? Do you know where you’re going and why you’re doing what you’re doing, or simply drifting down the stream of life?

In the theme song from the motion picture Mahogany, Diana Ross brings this message home:

“Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showin’ you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?”

             By Dr. D

http://thecarolyledestinygroup.one

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#Leadership#RiskTaking#Training#Growth#Development#destiny