The first 90 days

New roles don’t beat us—the voice in our head does. Quiet that enemy, and the ground gets steady.

Days 1–30 — Earn Permission.
Show up curious. Learn names, maps, and pain points. On my first command, a senior sergeant said, “Know the people before the plan.” He was right. Ask, listen, take notes. Serve first.

Days 31–60 — Deliver Small Wins.
Pick two fixes you can finish fast. Ship them. Momentum is character in motion—integrity + follow-through. I once inherited a messy report; a week of cleanup saved the team hours. Tiny win, big trust.

Days 61–90 — Multiply Trust.
Share credit, teach what you’ve learned, and invite better ideas. Influence rises when others feel seen and stronger because you’re there.

Maxwell: title gives position; relationships grant permission; results create production.
Myles Munroe: let purpose set priorities; choose an environment that grows you.

Call to Action (this week):

  • Three 15-min 1:1s to learn goals and headaches.
  • Draft a 90-day one-pager (purpose, people, problems, quick wins).
  • Ship one visible improvement by Friday.
  • Keep a “trust ledger”: promises made / kept.
  • Journal nightly: What I learned. Where I helped.

Receipts: why this 90-day plan works

  • Strong onboarding boosts retention by 82% and productivity by 70%.
  • When managers stay close in onboarding, employees are 3.4× likelier to rate it successful; “exceptional” onboarding doubles role-readiness and lifts job-fit 2.3×. (Gallup.com)
  • High-trust cultures see 50% higher productivity, 106% more energy, 76% more engagement, 74% less stress, and 13% fewer sick days—and employees are far more likely to stay.
  • Mentoring moves careers: mentees are promoted more often; mentors more; mentees more often see salary-grade gains. (MentorcliQ)
  • Reality check: about one-third of new hires don’t last 90 days—better onboarding cuts that churn. (Gallup.com)

You’ve got the tools. Walk the halls slowly, lift others loudly, let your work preach. The bush isn’t out there. It’s fear—already outmatched.

Reference:

 Maxwell, J. C. (2011). The 5 Levels of Leadership: Proven Steps to Maximize Your Potential. Center Street.

Maxwell, J. C. (2020). The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders. HarperCollins Leadership.

Maxwell, J. C. (2005/2011). The 360° Leader: Developing Your Influence from Anywhere in the Organization. Thomas Nelson.

Maxwell, J. C. (1998/2007). The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Thomas Nelson.

Munroe, M. (2008). In Charge: Finding the Leader Within You. FaithWords.

Munroe, M. (1992). Maximizing Your Potential. Destiny Image Publishers.

Munroe, M. (2014). The Power of Character in Leadership: How Values, Morals, Ethics, and Principles Affect Leaders. Whitaker House.


Transforming Negative Work Environments


Researchers have identified a growing trend of employees experiencing negative behaviors in the workplace. A landmark study by Schat, Frone, and Kelloway in 2006 reported that 41.4% of U.S. workers, approximately 47 million individuals, encountered psychological antagonism at work over the past year. Similarly, a U.S. government survey of federal employees found that 13% witnessed negative workplace behaviors.

Studies have explored the relationship between work-related psychosocial hazards and psychological illness. Negative behaviors, such as manipulation, exploitation, bullying, degrading treatment, and harassment, have been extensively labeled and studied (Zapf & Einarsen, 2003).

Recent research highlights the link between negative behaviors and employee health. Bowling and Beehr (2006) found significant relationships between negative behaviors and symptoms like depression and anxiety. Additionally, Djurkovic et al. (2004) noted that workplace bullying indirectly contributes to ill health and increased employee turnover intentions.

These studies confirm that psychological workplace hazards and negative behaviors lead to high absenteeism and turnover rates. A study by the University of Copenhagen followed 2,154 healthcare workers over three years, revealing a strong correlation between negative work environments and high turnover rates. Key factors driving turnover included poor leadership, constant exposure to negative behaviors, and health problems (Hogh A, Hoel H, Caneiro IG, 2011b).

Updated References and Examples:

  1. Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace Report (2023): This report highlights that only 20% of employees worldwide are engaged at work, with many citing negative workplace environments as a key factor.
  2. Case Study: Google: Google has implemented robust employee support systems and open communication channels to combat negative workplace behaviors, resulting in higher employee satisfaction and lower turnover rates.
  3. Meta-Analysis by Nielsen & Einarsen (2022): This study found that organizations with comprehensive anti-bullying policies saw a 30% reduction in reported negative behaviors.

Organizations facing these challenges experience reduced productivity, creativity, and work quality, impacting their competitiveness and ability to retain talent. Negative behaviors are costly and undermine organizational goals and success.

To address this, organizations should implement zero-tolerance policies for negative behaviors. Managers and leaders must actively monitor the work environment and maintain open communication channels. Senior managers should hold town hall meetings to gauge the work climate and remain approachable and non-judgmental.

In conclusion, negative workplace environments affect employees across sectors. Mitigating these environments can save organizations from costly medical expenses and reduce absenteeism. Swift action by upper management and leadership is crucial to addressing negative behaviors.

Further research is needed to understand the nature, causes, and consequences of negative workplace behaviors, such as aggression, and to develop effective policies and interventions to reduce such behaviors.


References:

  • Bowling, N. A., & Beehr, T. A. (2006). Workplace harassment from the victim’s perspective: A theoretical model and meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Psychology, 91(5), 998-1012.
  • Djurkovic, N., McCormack, D., & Casimir, G. (2004). The physical and psychological effects of workplace bullying and their relationship to intention to leave: A test of the psychosomatic and disability hypotheses. International Journal of Organization Theory & Behavior, 7(4), 469-497.
  • Gallup. (2023). State of the Global Workplace Report. Gallup.
  • Hogh, A., Hoel, H., & Caneiro, I. G. (2011b). Bullying and employee turnover among healthcare workers: A three-year follow-up study. Journal of Nursing Management, 19(6), 742-751.
  • Nielsen, M. B., & Einarsen, S. V. (2022). What we know, what we do not know, and what we need to know about workplace bullying: An overview of the literature and agenda for future research. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 57, 101476.
  • Schat, A. C. H., Frone, M. R., & Kelloway, E. K. (2006). Prevalence of workplace aggression in the U.S. workforce: Findings from a national study. In E. K. Kelloway, J. Barling, & J. J. Hurrell Jr. (Eds.), Handbook of workplace violence (pp. 47-89). Sage Publications.
  • Zapf, D., & Einarsen, S. (2003). Individual antecedents of bullying: Victims and perpetrators. In S. Einarsen, H. Hoel, D. Zapf, & C. L. Cooper (Eds.), Bullying and emotional abuse in the workplace: International perspectives in research and practice (pp. 165-184). Taylor & Francis.

Feel free to reach out if you need further assistance or have any questions!

Attitude as a Key Factor in Success and Ability

MAIN IDEA: (Control) Your Attitude

In my autobiography, I discussed five life-changing principles that have significantly shaped my life over the first sixty years. The first principle states, “Attitude can determine your altitude in life. It’s a determinant of success and ability.” 

The core principles I have learned throughout my life, from my upbringing and later experiences, emphasize the importance of having the right attitude. This lesson was foundational during my childhood, and I have carried it with me throughout my life.

The key lesson instilled in me by my mother as a child was not just faith and belief in God but also in myself and my ability to achieve my goals through hard work and perseverance.

My openness and acceptance of the lessons my mother imparted made a remarkable difference in my success. In other words, it freed me from limiting beliefs and empowered me to reach my true potential in my endeavors. When I aspired to be a great musician, I was a shy kid who disliked performing in front of others. I knew I had to push past this hurdle in my life. So, I leaped forward and haven’t looked back since. Since then, I have played with numerous artists in both gospel and jazz music, including the famous Shirley Caesar, the Mighty Clouds of Joy, and the great Mary Lou Williams. I have performed in music studios and played in front of thousands with concert bands, all because I stopped letting my limiting beliefs hold me back. My attitude changed, and as a result, my trajectory shifted toward exponential growth opportunities.

Moreover, the core principle of my upbringing taught me the significance of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. This principle has influenced many areas of my life, and it would take a long time to cover them all.

What I will focus on is the basic premise of this law: that everything we do in life is a seed planted, both literally and figuratively. One day, we will reap what we have sown in equal measure. This understanding has instilled in me the importance of being mindful of my actions and recognizing how they will return to me.

Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude determines your altitude.” The way we think and perceive the world is the first factor that influences our behavior and reflects the emotional and mental character of a person. With a positive attitude, we can resolve any type of problem and confront stressful conditions. An optimistic mindset can sustain us even during storms. Believing in God can transform our thinking. By maintaining a positive outlook, one can overcome any challenge. Changing our mindset can revolutionize our lives. Our attitude dictates our response to various situations. A positive attitude, combined with a positive mindset and prayer, can bring tremendous wonders into our lives.

Among this wisdom is the importance of maintaining a positive attitude in the face of hardships, as it determines not only how you deal with problems but also how you emerge from them. These lessons that I have learned did not come easily to me and required facing my battles for them to sink in. 

RELATED STORIES 

I remember one incident clearly when my mother’s lesson in faith and hard work first made a profound impression on me. It occurred around the age of twelve when a friend and I stole a bike and made our way home, only to find my mother waiting for us. At that moment, when I saw her standing there, I expected severe punishment and waited for the inevitable blow to fall. My mother, however, asked me a simple question: “If you really wanted a bike, why didn’t you ask for it?” That was a defining moment for me. Not only did I feel I had let my mom down by underestimating her love and sacrifice for me, but I also realized, over time, that I could have anything I wanted without resorting to stealing. Your attitude determines your behavior and your ability to navigate any situation. Your attitude encompasses your (1) Influences (2) Compass (3) Disposition (4) Attitudes, which expose your mental and emotional character.

At another moment in my life, this lesson of a positive attitude and perseverance was reinforced. It was a challenging period, and I emerged from it stronger because of these principles I learned early in life. At the age of twenty, I was let go from a job, still in my probationary period, where I had dreamed of one day becoming a top executive. I was charged with baseless accusations and terminated. Suddenly, I found my life crumbling around me. My dream was shattered; I had no job, and my future felt uncertain. It was at this moment that my faith and belief were tested, and had I not passed that test, I may well have ruined my future when an army recruiter called. If that day, I had let my emotions overwhelm me, this door might never have opened.

PRACTICAL EXERCISES 

What I have learned through these life experiences is that we must maintain the positive attitude required when facing adversity. This enemy in the bush, as you might say, can only be fought when we develop the proper attitude that serves as a compass during our darkest times. The way we perceive ourselves and our situations directly impacts the outcome. Just as it has helped me, I believe it can help every one of you to practice and uphold that positive attitude by focusing on positive thoughts, prayers, and scriptures to confront any challenge with strength, integrity, and will..ntegrity, and will.

Embrace the Power of Alignment: Your Path to Success and Fulfillment

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s essential to align your actions with your goals to achieve maximum returns. This vital alignment amplifies your energy, streamlines your efforts, and paves a fulfilling path to success. Alignment provides clarity, making decision-making straightforward when your actions, values, and goals are in sync. This way, you’re less likely to be sidetracked by non-essential tasks, enhancing your productivity. Furthermore, alignment ensures consistency. Consistent actions lead to better results over time and build unstoppable momentum. Whether you’re focusing on personal growth or business success, efforts rooted in alignment propel you forward, yielding substantial returns.

Moreover, alignment fuels motivation. When your pursuits resonate with your core values, staying motivated becomes second nature. This intrinsic motivation powers you through obstacles and keeps you persistent in the face of challenges. My journey toward alignment began with understanding that universal laws shape our world—laws like success, thought, vision, and communication. Embracing these principles brought profound shifts in my life. The law of success taught me the value of persistence and focus, the law of thought revealed the power of positive thinking, the law of vision helped me cultivate a clear and compelling future, and the law of communication highlighted the importance of authentic connections. These principles allowed me to create a life aligned with my deepest values and aspirations.

Aligning your team or organization amplifies these benefits even further. A unified team collaborates effectively, generates synergy, and performs better than a fragmented group. A shared vision, powered by aligned values, sparks innovation and higher performance. Finally, alignment also promotes well-being. Stress and burnout often arise from a misalignment between your work and your passions or values. By aligning your actions with your core beliefs, you cultivate fulfillment, satisfaction, and ward off burnout.

In conclusion, alignment is a transformative strategy for maximizing returns in life. By harmonizing your actions, values, and goals, you enhance efficiency, boost productivity, and create a fulfilling journey. Focus on alignment to blend success, well-being, and a deep sense of personal satisfaction. Your best life awaits—embrace alignment today!

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

Unlocking Self-Leadership Success: Mastering Discipline and Accountability

  How do you lead the toughest person in the room?

At every leadership webinar, I pose a paradox: Who is the toughest person in the room to lead? The answer, to everyone’s surprise, is ‘You.’ It’s a unique challenge we all face, leading ourselves.  

Yes, you are the toughest person to lead in this room! It’s a struggle we all share. The person I have the most difficult time leading is myself. This is a full-time job. I have to motivate myself. I have to discipline myself. I must protect my integrity. The list is endless. But remember, you’re not alone in this. We’re all in this together.

Why is it this way? According to my mentor, John Maxwell, there are two reasons:

(1) We don’t see ourselves as we see others.

(2) We are harder on others than we are on ourselves.

It’s a common trait of human nature that equips us with the ability to size up everyone in the world except ourselves. It is remarkable how most people, including managers, supervisors, and team leaders, lack self-awareness. They always have the magic bullet for how to fix others, but they lack a realistic perspective of who they are. This is a common struggle, not a personal failing. But with self-awareness, we can overcome this blind spot and lead ourselves more effectively.  

John Maxwell says, “We tend to judge others according to their actions. It’s very cut and dried.”

However, we judge ourselves by our intentions. Therefore, even when we visibly fall short of our team or organizational goals and/or mission, and it was a lack of leadership or judgment, we tend to let ourselves off the hook because our motives were good.

So how do you lead yourself well? That is a great question. Here are a few action steps. 

(1) Self-discipline is the cornerstone of self-leadership. It’s the key to achieving your goals and maintaining your integrity. Develop it, nurture it, and let it guide your actions.

One day, Frederick the Great of Prussia was walking on the outskirts of Berlin when he encountered a very old man walking ramrod straight in the opposite direction. “Who are you?” Frederick asked his subject. “I am a king,” replied the old man.

“A king!” laughed Frederick. “Over what kingdom do you reign?”

“Over myself,” was the proud old man’s reply.

Discipline is simply giving ourselves a command and following it through. Self-discipline is the highest form of leadership. You are the captain of your ship, the master of your soul. Leading yourself is a challenge, and one of the places where your character shows up is how you lead yourself. Honestly, there are days when I want to take a break from keeping myself under control. The problem is it is not wise to take any day off.

This leads me to the second action you can take to lead yourself well.

(2) Seek accountability. Personal and professional accountability is imperative because we all have a human nature that will lead us astray.

It was once said, “People who lead themselves well know a secret: they can’t trust themselves.” The problem comes when you selfishly think you are untouchable and learn how quickly poor choices can touch you. Unfortunately, we see this behavior now in our society; people don’t want to take responsibility or accountability.

As a young leader in the military, from time to time, my peers and I would get emails sent out by our commander for mandatory training “immediately.”  Well, your whole day is interrupted. I would say to myself, “What happened now?” Later, as all my peers would learn, another one of the men or women we worked with had to be removed from their leadership duties because they failed to lead themselves and others. They resulted in hurting others as well as themselves. 

(3) Do you have an accountability partner or peer group? Empowering others to keep you accountable keeps you in line.  

I know for myself that just being aware of an upcoming session with my peer group allowed me to avoid making poor decisions. At each session, we had a list of agreed-upon questions that others could ask. Only you knew if those answers to the questions were true or not. Taking responsibility for our own actions was paramount to our success.

We are responsible for others’ and our own actions. Leading people is earned, not a given right!

(4) Lastly, Be Patient—with yourself.

Thomas Watson said it aptly: “Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” People who cut corners are often categorized as impatient and lacking in self-discipline. However, if you follow through, you can achieve a breakthrough.

If you want to gain influence with people, solve problems. How you act or fail to act in those moments reveals to others just what our leadership competencies are.

Facing a personal failure. Taking a stand on an issue. Experiencing suffering or making an unpleasant choice—all these and more, when handled rightly, will either catapult us forward or eliminate our effectiveness. 

So, when asked, “How do you lead the toughest person in the room?”  You will have no problem answering that question.

Interested in mastering the art of self-leadership? Share your journey with us! What strategies have you implemented to overcome self-discipline challenges, and how has accountability impacted your personal and professional growth? Join the conversation using #SelfLeadershipJourney and inspire others by sharing your success stories, challenges, and insights on leading the toughest person in the room – yourself.

Dr. D

http://dcdardentalk.com

#LeadByExample #SelfLeadership #AccountabilityMatters #DisciplineIsFreedom #MasteringSelf #LeadershipChallenge #PersonalGrowthJourney #EmpowermentThroughAccountability #LeadershipSkills #BeYourOwnLeader #InfluenceThroughAction #LeadershipMindset