Category: Self-Sabortage

“Finding Balance and Reflection: Lessons from December for Business Professionals”

The holiday season can be an overwhelming and demanding time for leaders. With numerous expectations and competing demands, it’s crucial for them to prioritize their time and resources efficiently. One effective way of doing this is by delegating tasks to others when necessary and setting clear boundaries to prevent burnout. By doing so, business professionals can successfully navigate through this season. Personally, the ability to set clear boundaries brings peace into my life. It’s like giving yourself a gift. I know in my profession, being a go-getter is highly praised, but it can lead to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. What I do is resist the urge to go full throttle without acknowledging the already present stress. I put the brakes on those desires to move forward. Currently, I practice healthy habits, which may sound redundant, but it works. You only have one body, so take care of it.

Personally, December is a month of reflection for me. I take the last week of December, usually after Christmas, to reflect on a myriad of things. I ask myself some of the following questions reflecting on the current year:

1. What am I grateful for?

2. What were my accomplishments?

3. What were my proudest moments?

4. What were my milestones?

5. How did I increase in personal growth?

6. What were my significant spiritual moments?

7. Did I meet my financial goals, etc.?

It’s important to take some time to reflect on our achievements and lessons learned throughout the year. This will help us set ourselves up for continued growth and success in the coming year. We should also prioritize our own well-being during this time, whether through self-care activities or by spending quality time with loved ones.

In December, we can take the opportunity to learn from leadership and personal development lessons, which can help us approach the new year with renewed energy and a clear vision for the future. We should reflect on our progress, set new goals, and objectives for the upcoming year, and improve our self-awareness. Remember, you have the power to create positive change in your life. Take action now and pave the way for a successful and fulfilling year ahead!” Happy Holidays!

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

Thank you for reading my post

Dr.D

The Carolyle Destiny Group
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Finding True Happiness: The Courage to Pursue a More Balanced Life

I understand that you are someone who likes to constantly push themselves to new heights, both personally and professionally. It’s great to have this drive to improve, but it’s important to keep in mind that true happiness and well-being cannot be achieved through sheer productivity alone.

I have come to realize that the key to improved well-being without sacrificing creativity or getting stuck in a rut lies in having the courage to pursue happiness on a deeper level. It takes bravery to challenge the status quo, to break free from the traditional idea of what success looks like, and to embrace a more holistic approach to life.

For a long time, I believed that my happiness was directly tied to my career achievements and financial success. However, as I grew, I discovered that these things were only a small piece of the happiness puzzle. To find true happiness, I started prioritizing my mental and emotional well-being by spending time on self-care and personal development. I also tried to nurture my relationships and find joy in everyday moments. And you know what? It made a world of difference.

By stepping back and taking a closer look at what truly brings me happiness, I have been able to continue pursuing my professional goals without feeling burnt out or trapped in a cycle of never-ending hustle.

If you value personal development as much as I do, I encourage you to reconsider your definition of happiness and have the courage to go after it. There’s nothing wrong with striving for success, but not if it comes at the cost of your well-being and contentment. By adopting a more balanced approach to life, you will see that your creativity and productivity will thrive.

Remember, true happiness takes courage, but the rewards are immeasurable. So go out there, challenge the norm, and pursue a life filled with joy, purpose, and growth. You’ve got this!

Believe you can and you’re halfway there. – Theodore Roosevelt

Our Monthly Newsletter

Created to put balance in your life…

With over 40 million Americans suffering from some form of anxiety, it’s time we took a long hard look at our beliefs and the society which cultivates them.

Fear can manipulate situations and cause us to subconsciously make choices and take actions that do not directly align with our values and beliefs. Fear underlies almost every wrong decision, negative reaction, and notions of self-doubt we’ve ever had.

Anxiety, panic, apprehension, and anger are forms of fear having manipulated itself and tricked us into thinking otherwise. The result? Many people end up self-medicating or abusing substances, so they don’t have to deal with the fears, thinking that by temporarily ignoring it, we are breaking up with it entirely.

To let go of our fears, we must first detach ourselves from them, which means cultivating a sense of self-awareness. Confronting your fears is the only way to access the ability to transform and break away from them.

A great technique that can help those seeking to let go of fears once and for all is to examine the worst-case scenario for whatever you’re fearing.

To start, zero into precisely what your fear is – try to narrow it down to a word or sentence if you can. This step can often prove the most challenging, especially for those unaccustomed to facing difficult emotions head-on. The key to this step is to be open, aware, and honest with yourself. Try writing down your fears if you’re struggling to dissect them.

Next, imagine the worst-case scenario surrounding each fear. By sitting through this discomfort, it becomes possible for you to release the feasibility of the situation and evaluate its likelihood.

Finally, take note of how each fear makes you feel paying particular attention to where in your body you feel it. For example, you may experience a tightness in the chest or nerves in your stomach. Over time you will recognize this feeling so you can address your fear before it gets out of control.

Confronting our fears while in a ‘safe’ environment is the best way to strengthen us to combat them when they might arise in an unexpected situation.

We are motivated to educate as many people as possible which is why we host many events. From in-person educational experiences to virtual webinars and even parties to celebrate our clients, we encourage everyone to get involved with all of our offerings. Take a look at all of our exciting events here: carolyledestiny.leadingthebest.com

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Growth thrives in conducive surroundings

At some point, a person feels the need to evolve, to enter a new dimension of life.  Perhaps, to advance a skill, a new career, or develop their relationships with others. This requires growth to happen.  But for growth to happen, the person’s environment must change.

We all know how growth happens in plants. It starts with a seed that must be implanted into fertile soil full of nutrients to form roots. It also needs sunlight, air, and water, which, through the process of photosynthesis, helps the growing seed produce its own food source. In the right conditions, the seed begins to grow into a plant, and that plant grows to its full potential. If one of these elements are absent, the seed may never take root or achieve full growth. If you plant a seed in an environment where one of these elements is absent, growth is inhibited, and the seed’s full potential is never realized. The seed remains dormant.

That principle works the same in your life and mine. For growth to happen, your environment must be conducive to growth. It must have the right nutrients to stimulate growth. If you want to change your current situation or circumstances, you must change your present environment. To quote, John Maxwell, “Growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow is going to get better.”

In my two decades in the military. The stage was already set for growth opportunities, even though, I did not know at the time.  Every new assignment I went to, something was always wrong. Logistical processes were not in place, customers were unhappy for not getting their supplies on time. And the morale of the troops was down which, compounded the unhappy-customers problem. Sometimes I complained to my peers that I always got the most challenging assignments.  It was then that I recognized another of John’s principles: you must get out of your comfort zone to grow. When I finished the assignment, the logistical processes were far better than the previous ones, the morale within my area of responsibility was extremely high, and my customers were giving my operation rave reviews.

At first, I didn’t understand why I got the hard and challenging jobs. Later, I realized that the military, gave me the growth environment needed to recognize and grow to my potential.  As the saying goes, with each promotion comes more responsibility. I must have impressed my senior officers because they expected my performance to be top level. My performance in my military career led me to exponential growth, higher compensation, and bonuses. 

What does a growth environment look like for you?   

Remember, in order for a seed to grow, it needs the right soil, sunlight, air and water.   

Is your present environment helping you, and not holding you back?  Assess where you are right now!

  1. Are you in a place where others are ahead of you, or are you the go-to person? Are you the smartest one in the room? Then what and who is pouring into you? You are not getting the necessary nutrients for growth. If you are pouring everything you have into others, who is pouring into you?
  2. Are you challenged on a constant basis, if not find the right environment to grow in.

Lastly, leaders must create a growth environment within their organization or areas of influence.  Used these tips to build an organization with growth potential. 

  1. Set the bar high on proficiency, efficiency, and innovation.
  2. Give employees challenging work, nothing beneath them. And if they do not know how to do it, train them the right way first, then expect them to maintain the standard.
  3. Cultivate an affirming atmosphere. Nurture and nourish your people for growth.
  4. Model growth in front of them. Lead from the front, not the rear. I always say: “The most valuable gift I can give to others is a good example.” There is nothing more confusing than a person who gives good advice but sets a bad example. To quote (again) John Maxwell: “A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.”

Remember, growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow will get better. If you don’t know whether your present environment is a growth environment, do an assessment and make changes.

The bottom line is that a growth environment aids in growth. It doesn’t hold you back.

Lastly, if you are a leader, you are responsible for helping others grow and creating an atmosphere of growth. Grow leaders, don’t just tell them what to do.

What are your comments?

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Goal mindset versus growth mindset

I set a lot of goals for my life. Many of them I have hit the bull’s eye. Others I have fell short of the objective, and we have certain milestones or targets that we need to hit along the way in order to realize the goal. When you hit the target or goal, you feel good or ecstatic.

Earl Nightingale said it the best—that success is the realization of a worthy ideal.

But the problem with goal setting is our tendency not to see what’s next on our journey. Some would say, “Derrick, I have reached the peak of this mountain that I set for myself.” Sadly, many lose the drive, no stamina or no desire, and they stop at that point. It’s like you accomplished a small success, and then you  rest on that small success. You never move forward or beyond.

When you think about a growth conscious person, they continue beyond that goal and take on a different mindset. In fact, they want growth. You will continue growth, and you will hit all your goals when you look back on your journey five or ten years later. 

Man, that is a great feeling to move on to greater heights. You keep climbing the ladder until you reach heaven, and then you can stop. This reminds me of the song from the TV show, The Jeffersons, which is a part of my story, “We’re moving on up to the east side.” I remember in the early days when I was in my 20s. I had just started a family and had a new job, which was 20 miles away from home. I needed transportation, and I didn’t have a lot of money. Neither my mother nor my siblings had the money to lend me to buy a decent vehicle. I saw an ad in the local newspaper that a private owner had a 1970 Plymouth that was once a taxicab for sale. The private owner removed the decals and the taxi cab signs. But it still had the painted colors of the local taxicab company.

 On occasion I would get flagged down on the street by people wanting cab service. Many times I would stop to the anticipating customer and explain that my vehicle was privately owned, and they would have to call the local taxi cab company. Some would get really upset at me. This vehicle was always in the repair shop. Finally, I got tired of folks flagging me down and shoveling out wasted money for a beat-up vehicle, so I brought another used car, a Chevrolet Vega, which had an aluminum engine block. That car lasted a few months. The engine block cracked, and blue smoke traced my path down the local streets. I kept working through my trouble vehicles for three years when I bought a new Caravan off the showroom floor. That was a good feeling. However, I was in the military and serving my country and paying big monthly payments. Suze Orman taught me the lesson to stop using finance companies. But that took growth and hitting goal after goal after goal. During this time, I developed a growth plan for my life and started getting mentors in my life. Each mentor taught me growth principles that helped facilitate growth and maturity in my life. Looking back over my present journey, I see the growth, and the pain of growth. You may say that was great and proud of you. But I just don’t have the energy, knowledge, money, or time to plan for other growth challenges. 

John Maxwell said, “now is the best time to start anything.” Ask yourself, if not now WHEN? Growth is intentional, not accidental.

The real process of growth begins with your thoughts. Those thoughts become words, and the words become actions! James Allen, author of As a Man Thinketh, says, “You cannot travel within and stand still without.” Think about it. All life, except mankind, grows to its full potential. It’s only mankind that circumvents the process. For example, how tall will a tree grow? A tree doesn’t decide to stop growing. It continues growing all its life. 

So, I challenge you not to stop or do away with goal setting but go above and beyond goal setting and latch on to the growth mindset.

I love personal growth and development. And I think you will, too, once you start seeing a difference by applying what I have shared with you in this blog.

Derrick Darden, PhD