Tag: win

Distract the Distractive Critic in the workplace

  • Aikido Style

One of the most frustrating experiences at work is having a boss or coworker who gives negative critical comment regarding your work. When there is a consistent barrage of negative criticism, it negatively impacts your self-esteem, feelings, and performance of your day-to-day task. As a matter of fact, it is somewhat common for those that are placed under daily destructive criticism to encounter clinical depression.

The non-necessities: Overlooking his or her comments, moving your desks, and/or expressing your displeasure; are all the non-necessities.

Another strategy that is very effective is similar to the aikido expert who makes use of the power of an opponent and adopts the reverse leverage to conquer him.

When you are being criticized by the distractive critic,rather than attempting to stop him from criticizing you, try to encourage him todo so productively.��

There was a story told by a well-known commercial interior designer. The story was concerning his coworker who usually gives him negative feedback regarding the way the static displays are presented in the office showroom.  His co-worker criticizes, that the colors schemes are poorly combined, in other cases, the layouts of furniture and wall decoration look crowded, and it appears lousy.  So the criticized interior designer thought about his goals and how the critic (co-worker) should proceed to criticize his work in a productive manner.   

The next time the coworker began with the critical comments, he responded with the question, “How can he get it done better?”

This is a response that accurately indicates how criticism communication can be effectively diminished to a sentence. This is what usually happens. If negative criticism tells you, “you are winning.” Now, on the flip side, if the response is: “I do not have an idea,” what you should do is to clarify, “I’m trying my best”. Continue to say “I would be grateful if you do not tell me your criticism anymore unless it’s productive criticism.”  This implies to the coworker not to criticize you, but instead, you are only requesting the manner at which you are being criticized.  It must be productive and not destructive!!! If this doesn’t work, set up a meeting with your immediate supervisor.

In dealing with the boss, use a different strategy, make arequest from your boss to give you some time, so he can productively assess youin your areas of responsibilities.  Iremember the Mayor of New York City, Mayor Koch, he used to ask hisconstituents, “How am I doing?” The framework for your boss should be as such,“How am I doing?” Let him know the area you want him to improve in, and let himtell you how to improve them. Lay emphasis on the fact that you want to be agood employee that adds value to the organization.  If this meeting is successful, express yourappreciation and let him feel how much you benefited from his attention, andtry to get some search sessions consistently, irrespective of how inconsistent,and never forget to execute any valid criticism he poses. Actually, you’ve justtaught your boss how the power of positive criticism can be obtained. This is awin-win case!  Weisinger, H/ Triple D

Leave a comment below.

http://dcdardentalks.com

Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD