Category: criticized, criticism

How to handle conflict and commit to the customer

Derrick C Darden, PhD

There’s an old saying by Sam Walton: “There is only one boss, the customer. Serving the customer is the reason your business exists. In the professional world, your job, whether it’s in sales, services or manufacturing, revolves around the customer.”

However, what happens when there is a conflict between a customer and an employee?

In this short blog, we will talk about how to handle those situations. Unfortunately, they are inevitable, but we have some tips and tricks on how to resolve them.

But before we get to them, I want to tell you a story.

I once heard about a customer who was waiting patiently to be seen by the optometrist to be fitted with new glasses. Her number was finally called, but instead of the optometrist technician waiting directly on her, he decided to answer a question from a customer who hadn’t taken a number at all. “Ironically, this same technician was rude to my husband only a month ago,” the customer remembered.

Now, this customer became infuriated and very loud. Of course, this got the attention of everyone in the store.  In the meantime, the manager was watching this take place in the background and quickly came to the aid of the furious customer. The quickly extinguished the situation. He took care of the customer, and the customer left happy.

As this story illustrates, one way to resolve a conflict to get straight to the source. What is the source? It is the foundation of how this conflict occurred. There’s always a second perception behind the truth. Maybe the customer was irritated by another, unrelated situation. But you assume that all this anger and resentment is geared towards you. Most of the time, the customer doesn’t have a personal problem, but a consumer problem. And, as a consumer, they must get quality and satisfaction.

So avoid complaining to others and whimpering. Avoid negative name-calling and further eroding your relationship with that customer.

Second, dissect the problem, not each other. Attack the problem by looking at it from different angles, then ask the customer to help buy into the solution.

Third, avoid the “blame game.” Instead of wasting your energy in finger-pointing and trying to prove your point (if there is a point to be made), direct your energy to resolving the issue at hand.

Here are some other tips on how to resolve a conflict with a customer:

1.      Listen to your customer’s concerns, get an understanding of what is being said, take off the filters. Listen with both ears, and speak once.

2.      Remember the golden rule: Do onto others as you want them to do unto you. You cannot judge someone. Put yourself in that customer’s shoes. As the saying goes, you can’t judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

3.      Understanding is key. Understand why the conflict happened. What are some of the causes? Never assume that these things always happen.

4.      Lastly, to fix the conflict, go to the customer and make things right between you two. Re-establish your relationship and earn back their trust.

I hope this article will help you with your decision making. And remember – without conflict, life would be boring!

Distract the Distractive Critic in the workplace

  • Aikido Style

One of the most frustrating experiences at work is having a boss or coworker who gives negative critical comment regarding your work. When there is a consistent barrage of negative criticism, it negatively impacts your self-esteem, feelings, and performance of your day-to-day task. As a matter of fact, it is somewhat common for those that are placed under daily destructive criticism to encounter clinical depression.

The non-necessities: Overlooking his or her comments, moving your desks, and/or expressing your displeasure; are all the non-necessities.

Another strategy that is very effective is similar to the aikido expert who makes use of the power of an opponent and adopts the reverse leverage to conquer him.

When you are being criticized by the distractive critic,rather than attempting to stop him from criticizing you, try to encourage him todo so productively.��

There was a story told by a well-known commercial interior designer. The story was concerning his coworker who usually gives him negative feedback regarding the way the static displays are presented in the office showroom.  His co-worker criticizes, that the colors schemes are poorly combined, in other cases, the layouts of furniture and wall decoration look crowded, and it appears lousy.  So the criticized interior designer thought about his goals and how the critic (co-worker) should proceed to criticize his work in a productive manner.   

The next time the coworker began with the critical comments, he responded with the question, “How can he get it done better?”

This is a response that accurately indicates how criticism communication can be effectively diminished to a sentence. This is what usually happens. If negative criticism tells you, “you are winning.” Now, on the flip side, if the response is: “I do not have an idea,” what you should do is to clarify, “I’m trying my best”. Continue to say “I would be grateful if you do not tell me your criticism anymore unless it’s productive criticism.”  This implies to the coworker not to criticize you, but instead, you are only requesting the manner at which you are being criticized.  It must be productive and not destructive!!! If this doesn’t work, set up a meeting with your immediate supervisor.

In dealing with the boss, use a different strategy, make arequest from your boss to give you some time, so he can productively assess youin your areas of responsibilities.  Iremember the Mayor of New York City, Mayor Koch, he used to ask hisconstituents, “How am I doing?” The framework for your boss should be as such,“How am I doing?” Let him know the area you want him to improve in, and let himtell you how to improve them. Lay emphasis on the fact that you want to be agood employee that adds value to the organization.  If this meeting is successful, express yourappreciation and let him feel how much you benefited from his attention, andtry to get some search sessions consistently, irrespective of how inconsistent,and never forget to execute any valid criticism he poses. Actually, you’ve justtaught your boss how the power of positive criticism can be obtained. This is awin-win case!  Weisinger, H/ Triple D

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