Tag: success

Self-Discipline (A different perspective)

What’s at the core of achieving the good life? To start exploring this question, let’s look at what’s not at the core. The major key is not learning how to set goals, or managing your time. And it’s not mastering the fine art of leadership. Day by day, we try to find ways to improve ourselves by learning how to do new things. We spend a lifetime gathering knowledge in classrooms through textbooks and experiences. But if knowledge is power, then why do those who seek it sometimes fall short of their objective? Why, despite our quests for knowledge and experience, do we find ourselves aimlessly wandering, settling for mere existence rather than a life of substance?

Everyone has their own opinion, but, in my view, the answer is lack of discipline.

We need to put ourselves in front of that word discipline and call it self-discipline. Self-discipline is basically one’s ability to focus or act consistently to complete a task or attain a goal. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are, or if you got the highest honors in school, or attended all the conferences and seminars of the great orators. Unless you apply what you’ve learned, you won’t get results. If you do apply your knowledge, eventually you will realize success. To quote Earl Nightingale: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal or goal.”  The key word is here is “progressive”, which means you’re moving towards an objective.

So, self-discipline is better than knowledge. When you’re disciplined, it means you’re applying knowledge. Not only did you study to get results, but you’re also applying what you learned. I like to say that knowledge is like paint: you don’t see the difference unless you apply it.  

So, the key to having a good life and success is consistent self-discipline. Whether you want to be a good parent, have better relationships, or be an influential leader, if you lack consistent discipline, your results will be haphazard. You’ll be all over the place. Zig Ziglar said it best: “Don’t be a wandering generality, be an aiming specific.” Knowing what you want and bringing that to pass requires a change, either physically and/or mentally. Setting goals is not a catch-all, and time management technique is not the hallmark of mastery. Studying the Art of Leadership doesn’t bestow any honors upon you. 

However, if you act on the things you want to achieve day by day, your actions become habitual. That’s when you’ll see results.

Self-Discipline and leadership

Self-discipline is the highest form of leadership. You are the captain of your ship, the master of your own soul. Leading yourself is a challenge, and how well you do it is one way your character shows up. Honestly, there are days when I just want to take a break from keeping myself under control. The problem is, it’s unwise to take a day off.  

The bottom line: if you want to live the good life, follow Jim Rohn’s formula: “Success = Just a few acts of SELF-DISCIPLINE, practiced daily, over a reasonable period. 

The Carolyle Destiny Group

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A Self Sustaining Life

“Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

This phrase from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu has been around for hundreds of years, and embodies a universal truth and teachable principles that is held today.

I was brought up on the second part of this phrase – that by teaching a man how to fish, he’ll be able to feed himself for a lifetime. That’s just my paraphrasing of it, the meaning is powerful. The essence of this phrase sums it up like this – be self-sustaining, be self-disciplined, and be self-managed – these three maxims revolutionized my life.  Instead of always depending on others, you should learn and employ the skills you need to meet all of your needs.

One should know the skills one needs to become independent and self-sufficient.

First, a self-sustaining person, you need little help or assistance to reach your personal targets. You can meet your own needs and decide the pathway you need to take to reach the next level. When learning a new skill for example or a new language,  decide on a target you want to hit. Decide on the next level, this is self-directing your future. You are in charge.

Today, many rely on our government to survive and meet their needs for food, water and shelter. Most obtain their daily fish themselves; however, others take advantage of public programs for their own selfish gain. Becoming dependent on others for aid or support for long periods steals away your independence and self-worth.  

My mother raised a large family without my father, not because she didn’t want him to be around, but because my father was an alcoholic and abuser. His dependency was so evident to her that she refused to let him break up a peaceful home, nor allow him to influence his children’s by perpetuating his bad behavior. I once read an old saying: “Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness.”

My mother would not accept any handouts, because she hated the ideal of dependency. Now all her kids have grown up to be professionals in their perspective fields, and their hard-working ethic can be attributed to our mother. My mother taught us the art of fishing, so we could all be self-sustaining and self-sufficient throughout our lives. Sometimes all you need is to trust your own ability and strengths.

Secondly, self-discipline means your mind and body motivate your spirit to move towards the results you want to realize, free from the constraints of conformity and tradition. This can bring about a shift in your long-term circumstances. A self-disciplined life moves you towards your destiny. You make choices that line up with your goals – even down to what you wear, who you hang out with, and what foods you eat.

Third, a self-managed life boils down to this: you are taking full control over your talents and abilities and moving towards your true purpose in this life. You have a special destiny and purpose that requires self-sustaining abilities and self-discipline to reach. Self-management involves becoming reliable in all aspects of your life and moving towards success, your own set of personal goals.  Every step, every decision, every action moves you towards your ideal self.   Earl Nightingale said it best: “Success is the realization of a worthy ideal.” For example, if you desire to become a teacher, learn everything you need to know about that profession. Get up every morning to study for certifications, read books on the subject, get a mentor. Discipline your life daily, manage your life consistently, and soon you’ll realize that you’ve arrived.

Thomas Edison, the great inventor and innovator of the 20th century, embodied these principles when he invented the incandescent lamp. It took him over 10,000 tries with different materials to come up with a filament that could last for many hours. Thank God that Edison had the self-discipline to continue his pursuit of a long-lasting light bulb – if he hadn’t, we all might still be sitting in the dark, and reading by candlelight.

So learn the art of fishing. Become self-sustaining, forge your own path, and move towards your destiny. 
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Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD