Tag: success

A Self Sustaining Life

“Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

This phrase from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu has been around for hundreds of years, and embodies a universal truth and teachable principles that is held today.

I was brought up on the second part of this phrase – that by teaching a man how to fish, he’ll be able to feed himself for a lifetime. That’s just my paraphrasing of it, the meaning is powerful. The essence of this phrase sums it up like this – be self-sustaining, be self-disciplined, and be self-managed – these three maxims revolutionized my life.  Instead of always depending on others, you should learn and employ the skills you need to meet all of your needs.

One should know the skills one needs to become independent and self-sufficient.

First, a self-sustaining person, you need little help or assistance to reach your personal targets. You can meet your own needs and decide the pathway you need to take to reach the next level. When learning a new skill for example or a new language,  decide on a target you want to hit. Decide on the next level, this is self-directing your future. You are in charge.

Today, many rely on our government to survive and meet their needs for food, water and shelter. Most obtain their daily fish themselves; however, others take advantage of public programs for their own selfish gain. Becoming dependent on others for aid or support for long periods steals away your independence and self-worth.  

My mother raised a large family without my father, not because she didn’t want him to be around, but because my father was an alcoholic and abuser. His dependency was so evident to her that she refused to let him break up a peaceful home, nor allow him to influence his children’s by perpetuating his bad behavior. I once read an old saying: “Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness.”

My mother would not accept any handouts, because she hated the ideal of dependency. Now all her kids have grown up to be professionals in their perspective fields, and their hard-working ethic can be attributed to our mother. My mother taught us the art of fishing, so we could all be self-sustaining and self-sufficient throughout our lives. Sometimes all you need is to trust your own ability and strengths.

Secondly, self-discipline means your mind and body motivate your spirit to move towards the results you want to realize, free from the constraints of conformity and tradition. This can bring about a shift in your long-term circumstances. A self-disciplined life moves you towards your destiny. You make choices that line up with your goals – even down to what you wear, who you hang out with, and what foods you eat.

Third, a self-managed life boils down to this: you are taking full control over your talents and abilities and moving towards your true purpose in this life. You have a special destiny and purpose that requires self-sustaining abilities and self-discipline to reach. Self-management involves becoming reliable in all aspects of your life and moving towards success, your own set of personal goals.  Every step, every decision, every action moves you towards your ideal self.   Earl Nightingale said it best: “Success is the realization of a worthy ideal.” For example, if you desire to become a teacher, learn everything you need to know about that profession. Get up every morning to study for certifications, read books on the subject, get a mentor. Discipline your life daily, manage your life consistently, and soon you’ll realize that you’ve arrived.

Thomas Edison, the great inventor and innovator of the 20th century, embodied these principles when he invented the incandescent lamp. It took him over 10,000 tries with different materials to come up with a filament that could last for many hours. Thank God that Edison had the self-discipline to continue his pursuit of a long-lasting light bulb – if he hadn’t, we all might still be sitting in the dark, and reading by candlelight.

So learn the art of fishing. Become self-sustaining, forge your own path, and move towards your destiny. 
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Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD