How to defeat the grasshopper and elephant mentality in the workplace and in life?

You know, we can learn a valuable lesson from the grasshopper, the elephant and the way people think. Here’s why. If you want to keep a grasshopper for a pet, then all you need to do is to trap that grasshopper in a jar with a lid over it. And just like many of us, an imprisoned grasshopper will try desperately to escape using his powerful legs to smash the wall of resistance in search of freedom time and time again. At the outset, that grasshopper looked very persistent and determined to change its situation. And it would try to try again without any luck of breaking itself free. Then something happens, the grasshopper stops, the persistence of escaping stops. At this point, we all know that the grasshopper will never try to escape by jumping out of the jar with the lid. At the moment, you can take the lid off, and your (pet) grasshopper will not escape because once the grasshopper has learned that its situation did not change time after time no matter what it did in the past, its convinced that it will never change in the future. And it will settle upon its new life with no desire to reach beyond that comfort zone.
Many of us know about how elephant trainers teach elephants to stay in place. They get the baby elephant and lock a strong chain around its ankle and just as the grasshopper the baby elephant will pull and tug until it stops. And even once the elephant grows into an adult, it does not change in its beliefs. The trainer could tie a thin rope around the same ankle of the elephant, and it would not try to break away.
So there are similar parallels here in this simple life lesson between the grasshopper, the elephant, and people who have given up and have adopted the same mentality as the grasshopper and elephant—becoming comfortable and complacent with no sense of going on even if success is within reach. Mentally this person sees it as unreachable and unobtainable—it’s too hard they may say. There are many problems with the grasshopper and elephant mentality when adopted by an individual, a group, or even an industry such as:
 The individual sees themselves as not having the ability to fit in with peers or able to leverage newer technologies.
 They may prematurely size up the situation or competition and determine and perhaps talk themselves out of becoming successful by telling themselves: “I’m too old,” “I don’t have enough resources,” “I don’t have enough experience,” “I don’t want to get involved” or maybe “I was born on the wrong side of the tracks.” We all know the song, but we keep singing it.

The game of chess is another example that is comparable to the game of our life. If you want to be successful, it’s how you play the game. Chess is a game of change and adaptation. You have specific rules that players must follow in order to set up the game board. You have rules on how and in what direction the chess pieces must move on the board. Then you have rules on how to capture a chess piece, and finally how to win the game. Even though in chess there are rules to the game and one must follow them; no one plays the game the same because there are millions of ways to win and millions of ways to lose, but the outcome depends on the interactive interaction process between the two players. So similarly there are rules that govern change, and there are rules of adaptation to the change, but there is no one way that a person must take that leads to the path of success. Why? Because everyone is different, no two people are alike even if they were identical twins. Change and adaptation depend on the person’s mindset be it positive or negative. It canalso depend on that person’s biological makeup and the psychological makeup and/or the environment in which they dwell in. That’s why when talking about what situation will best promote efficiency in the workplace, it is best to think about what will specifically lead to increased proficiency and productivity of the individual employee. The environment for one thing or the workplace culture can help to improve efficiency. So, to avoid the grasshopper and elephant mentality as a human being, you must be able to accept, respond, and adapt to change because if not you will be stuck in that position not knowing the ability within you that is greater than the external forces. Discard your mental blockages because it will only lead to regression, limitations, stagnation, and ultimately a failure in reaching your goals. Remember you may limit yourself not your circumstances in life.
Permission only granted by Derrick Darden, PhD

Visit: dcdardentalks.com

Reference:
Amen, D.(1992). Don’t Shoot Yourself in the foot ( A Program to end self-defeating behavior forever), Warner books, 1271 Avenue of the Americas, NY 10020

Ghosting in the workplace

When I first heard the term ghosting, I related it to ghosts in a haunted house or scary events at Halloween or heaven forbid, I got lost in a field on the way home and was at the mercy of some supernatural being. However, on researching this term in greater depth, I found it also relates to a tactic of avoidance in the dating game and in the workplace. My interest, of course, focused on the workplace, and I found some very interesting information, so, keep reading…

Ghosting in the workplace is very similar to giving someone the cold shoulder or avoiding them completely in a romantic relationship – except at work it applies to the boss or company for whom you work. Like the technique of avoidance in the courting game, where the one ghosted in the relationship may feel shafted or dumped, ghosting at work implies a similar situation: an employee snubs his employer either through avoidance or quitting completely. In dating, a person who is dumped feels lost and very reluctant to date someone else. In the workplace, an employee who ghosts the company or boss often leaves them mystified and powerless to do anything, especially if the employee quits suddenly and doesn’t return to work (Leary, M.R., Haupt, A.L., Strausser, K.S., Chokel JT, 1998) .

The question why employees ghost in the workplace is one that has baffled employers everywhere, but one reason for this phenomenon is that the unemployment rate in the US is very low now, jobs are plentiful, and skilled labor is hard to find. So, if an employee gets a good job opportunity, he or she quits their previous job before joining a better place of employment and only informs the employer on the day they leave, which leads to an awkward situation for the employer or management. Ghosting can also be the result of dissatisfaction with a boss or company’s behavior and their attitude towards the employee. Formerly, it was the company or employer that ghosted employees or fired them because the employees could not adapt to a chaotic workplace. The employee would then be left trying to find employment. However, it is clear now that the tables have turned, and many employees are turning to alternative positions when things go awry at their workplace (Cynthia L. Pickett CL, Gardner WL, Knowles M, 2004) (Celestine Williams, Deborah South Richardson, Georgina S. Hammock, Adrian S. Janit, 2012).

Companies can implement a few strategies to discourage employees from ghosting

Give respect to employees. A friendly environment has to be created, and respect for your employee goes a long way. Respect the employees’ opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. This will ease stress or misconceptions about you, the employer, or manager.
The use of direct and indirect communication plays an important role. Maintaining consistency among employees or staff is an important and tough task. The employer has to consider all related aspects and paint a clear picture of the process or instructions to the employees. The employer should never mislead and never over promise and under deliver.

Lastly, the employer must consider the loss of productivity, loss of the required core skills, and loss of morale amongst remaining employees that result from ghosting.

Looking from another perspective

We can consider ghosting from the perspective that an employee wants to get a better opportunity in the labor market, but we must also realize it has an adverse impact on employees as well as employers. When an employee leaves a company without justification, everyone within the organization looks at company management to see how they handled the situation. It’s important not to leave a bad impression among those who remain with the company, or with the employee himself. My office gives everyone a plaque and wishes them well. Some employees have stayed for over 30 years. Remember that the job market is excellent and the unemployment rate is low; employees who leave our company maintain a good attitude towards everyone.

Derrick Darden, PhD (Triple D)

References:

Celestine Williams, Deborah South Richardson, Georgina S. Hammock, Adrian S. Janit. (2012, December). Perceptions of physical and psychological aggression in close relationships: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 17(6), 489-494. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2012.06.005

Cynthia L. Pickett CL, Gardner WL, Knowles M. (2004, Sptember 30). The need to belong and enhanced sensitivity to social clues. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30(9), 1095-1107. doi:10.1177/0146167203262085

Dewall CN, Macdonald G, Webster GD, Masten Cl, baumeister RF, Powell C, Combs D, Schurtz DR, Stillman TF, Tice DM, Eisenberger NI. (2010). Acetaminophen Reduces Social Pain: Behavioral and Neural Evidence. Psychological Science, 21, pp. 931-7. doi:10. 1177/0956797610374741

Ethan Kross, Marc G. Berman, Walter Mischel, Edward E. Smith, Tor D. Wager. (2011). Social Rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), (pp. 6270-6275). doi:10.1073/pnas.1102693108

Leary, M.R., Haupt, A.L., Strausser, K.S., Chokel JT. (1998). The relationship between interpersona appraisals and state self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1290-9. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.74.5.1290

Social Change (?Are There Risk Factors?)

Ѕосіаl сhаngе саn imply а gradual unfolding of different wауs of life or а suddеn, fundamental trаnsfоrmаtіоn of есоnоmіс, sосіаl, and роlіtісаl іnstіtutіоns. Due to the variation of mechanisms within the social structure of society, individuals реrсievе, ехреrіеnсе, and hаndlе the еffесts оf sосіаl сhаngе based on specific sосіо-рsусhоlоgісаl рrосеssеs. What individuals think, feel or behave can be influenced by others’ words and actions, both actual and imagined.

Тhіs bеlіеf іs bаsеd оn thе аssumрtіоn thаt іndіvіduаl dеvеlорmеnt іs аn асtіvе рrосеss tаkіng рlасе across multірlе соntехts. Тhе асtіvе rоlе оf thе іndіvіduаl іs sееn іn thе рsусhоlоgісаl рrосеssеs оf nеgоtіаtіng thе sеlf іn rеlаtіоn tо thе еnvіrоnmеnt, іnсludіng gоаl sеttіng, dесіsіоn mаkіng, аnd bеhаvіоr. Тhis соntехtuаl vіеw еnlаrgеs thе іndіvіduаl-сеntеrеd аррrоасh bу sресіfуіng есоlоgісаl соndіtіоns thаt аffесt іndіvіduаl dеvеlорmеnt, аnd by іllumіnаtіng multіdіrесtіоnаl рrосеssеs іn сhаngіng реrsоn-еnvіrоnmеnt rеlаtіоns.

Ѕосіаl сhаngе mау bе studіеd аt thе lеvеl оf sосіаl соntехt (е.g., сhаngеs іn thе lаbоr mаrkеt), аt thе lеvеl оf іndіvіduаl bеhаvіоr сhаngеs, оr іn tеrms оf thе rеlаtіоnship bеtwееn thе twо. Сhаngеs аt thе mасrо lеvеl оf sосіеtу (е.g., struсturаl сhаngеs suсh аs аn іnсrеаsе іn unеmрlоуmеnt) mау аffесt a реrsоn dіrесtlу оr іndіrесtlу (for example, whеn а fаmіlу mеmbеr оr someone him/herself lоsеs а јоb).

Another example of social change is corruption, which affects everyone. Іt thrеаtеns sustаіnаblе есоnоmіс dеvеlорmеnt, еthісаl vаluеs, аnd јustісе; іt dеstаbіlіzеs sосіеtу аnd еndаngеrs thе rulе оf the lаw. Corruption undеrmіnеs thе іnstіtutіоns аnd vаluеs оf dеmосrасу. However, bесаusе рublіс роlісіеs аnd рublіс rеsоurсеs аrе lаrgеlу bеnеfісіаl tо іndіvіduаls, іt іs individuals whо suffеr thе hаrmful еffесts оf соrruрtіоn mоst grіеvоuslу.

То bе dереndеnt оn thе gоvеrnmеnt fоr hоusіng, hеаlthсаrе, еduсаtіоn, sесurіtу, аnd wеlfаrе mаkеs thе рооr mоst vulnеrаblе tо соrruрtіоn sіnсе іt stаlls public sеrvісе dеlіvеrу. For example, the devastation of the water crisis in Flint, Michigan most directly affects the poor population there. The Office of the Governor in Michigan cut costs by delaying the installation of much-needed upgrades to its water piping system in lower income areas of Flint, Michigan. Rather, the Office of the Governor chooses an affluent area for the installation instead. The bottom line is that this lead to toxic drinking water for the citizens of Flint as a соnsеquеnсе оf соrruрtіоn.

Весаusе іndіvіduаls аrе соnfrоntеd wіth sосіаl сhаngе аt dіffеrеnt роіnts іn thе рrосеss оf сhаngе аnd аt dіffеrеnt tіmеs іn tеrms оf thеіr sосіаl rоlеs аnd dеvеlорmеntаl stаgеs, sосіаl сhаngе саn turn оut tо bе а rіsk fасtоr.  What is your opinion?

Reference

Cambridge Systematics, Inc.; Economic Development Research Group, Inc. & Boston Logistics Group, Inc. (August 2006). “Guide to Quantifying the Economic Impacts

Elder, G. H., King, v., & Conger, R. D. (1996). Intergenerational continuity and change in rural lives: Historical and developmental insights.lnternational Journal of Behavioral Development. 19. 433-455.

Bandura, A. (Ed.). (1995). Self-efficacy in changing societies. Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Conger, R. D., Conger, K. J., Elder, G. H., Lorenz, F. 0. Simons, R. L., & Whitbeck, L. B. (1992). A family process model of economic hardship and adjustment of early adolescent boys. Child Development, 63, 526-541.

Zinnecker, J., & Silbereisen, R K. (Eds.). (1996). Kindheit in Deutschland: AkJueller Survey iiber Kinder und ihre Eltern [Childhood in Germany: Current survey on children and their parents]. Weinheim, Germany: Juventa.

 

Triple D

Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD

 

 

Communication: Mutual trust, respect and commitment

Author Northouse explains that “Effective leadership offers when the communication between leaders and subordinates is characterized by mutual trust, respect, and commitment.” Such communication and sincerity in our interactions is key to success. This behavior should be displayed by both top management and throughout the organization. It has long been my aim to instill such values in our organizational culture.

Information is key to business today. When it flows, there is innovation and excellence. When it is blocked, dropped, or misconstrued, our business suffers. Sometimes information doesn’t make its way thru the channels to all levels. Many times, valuable information is held by someone intentionally or unintentionally because one may feel that specific information should be on a need-to-know basis. This can create feelings of exclusion or mistrust in management and erodes trust and loyalty within the company.

To resolve this communication problem in my organization, we established a system of feedback that ensures that messages are communicated to and received at all levels. Two-way communication is always the best methodology to ensure that trust is developed, which leads to commitment in our employees.

Developing relationships is vital to building trust. For example, I use to think of going to the dentist an unpleasant experience, especially when it involved a tooth extraction or an annual in-depth cleaning appointment. However, my present experience is quite different. My dentist always communicates to me about the procedure which I am about to undergo, which establishes a rapport between the professional and the patient. The dentist details the procedures and gives me the option to continue the procedure or not. Importantly, my consent signifies my trust in their abilities and in the mutual concern about my well-being before digging into my mouth.

It is vital in our communications that we remove inaccurate mis-perceived ideas and clearly communicate our intentions. Fear of the unknown can be a debilitating factor, employees that do not know what to expect will fear the unknown and will act on their misconceived knowledge, which can be far from the truth.

Importantly, management must form positive relationships with their employees before implementing an action. Just as the dentist created trust in our interaction, managers and leaders must establish mutual respect in their relationships with employees. Promoting an atmosphere of collaboration creates trust and loyalty.

It’s a well-known fact that when employees become loyal to the company, they become dedicated and willing to work harder towards achieving priorities and fulfilling the company mission. They become eager to take on and complete those extra tasks and projects that are vital to success. I believe committed employees see themselves as stakeholders in the company’s overall success.
Derrick Darden, PhD

(Northouse, 2004)

http://cooperatingintheworkplace.net