Tag: Growth

“Conflict in the workplace” is the topic that needs to be addressed.

Many people in leadership positions tend to fear conflict and believe that it can be harmful to the team, causing offense and tension. However, avoiding conflict can actually escalate into more significant problems and make the situation worse.

I recognize that as a leader, it’s important to create a safe and respectful work environment for everyone. In high-performing teams, well-managed conflict becomes the key to effective communication, and I believe that conflict should be welcomed and managed effectively. When team members feel comfortable to disagree, challenge, and question one another, it can lead to finding the best answer and making good decisions.

I understand that unhealthy conflict can lead to disrespect, refusal to compromise, anger, defensiveness, and fear. That’s why I believe it’s important to talk about strategies for managing conflicts. As a leader, I empathize with the challenges of managing conflicts and know that it can be stressful. That’s why I’m here to help you navigate the situation and find the best solution that benefits everyone.

When conflicts are managed well, it can lead to a more productive and respectful work environment. As a leader, I’m committed to creating an environment where everyone feels valued and respected. Together, we can manage conflicts effectively and create a positive work environment for everyone.

1. Strategies for resolving conflicts

To effectively resolve conflicts in the workplace, it is crucial not to disregard the issue and instead address it promptly. By doing so, the situation can be prevented from escalating further.

Additionally, it is essential to clarify the underlying problem, ensuring that all parties involved clearly understand the issue at hand.

Encouraging active listening and brainstorming, bringing everyone to the resolution table, is a valuable strategy to establish mutual comprehension of the problem. This prevents any hidden motives.

Once the problem has been identified, the next crucial step is to come up with a solution that can help all parties achieve a common goal. It’s important to stay vigilant and keep track of progress while also devising preventative measures to avoid future conflicts and ensure a long-term resolution. There are many effective methods for resolving conflicts. I find these techniques easy to remember, especially in tense situations. It is crucial to avoid escalating tensions by refraining from making threats or engaging in provocative actions. Finding common ground or shared goals with the opposing party can help shift away from demonizing them. Taking proactive measures to address conflicts early on, managing emotions, showing empathy, actively listening, and acknowledging criticism are all helpful strategies for resolving disputes. Setting expectations for acceptable behavior before conflicts arise can also help prevent future disagreements.

Lastly, choosing a neutral location to start conversations related to conflicts can create a more conducive environment for open and productive discussions.

By employing these conflict resolution strategies, workplace conflicts can be resolved in a way that encourages productivity and fosters a positive work environment for all parties involved.

Let me describe a typical scenario:

One of your colleagues, Phil, is not pulling his weight regarding the weekly workload. He says he’s overwhelmed with other tasks and the emotional fallout from a difficult divorce. Some of the other coworkers are frustrated with Phil’s lack of effort and are considering bringing it up with the supervisor. However, as a good friend of Phil’s, you have doubts about the validity of his reasons. You’ve already talked to him, but he became defensive and accused you of not showing sympathy.

Instead of filing a complaint with the supervisor, it’s important to address the situation directly. You need to have a frank conversation with Phil and explain how his behavior is affecting the team and the workload. If he’s genuinely struggling, you can offer to help him with his tasks or suggest he speak to the supervisor to seek additional support. But if his reasons are not valid, then it’s crucial to let him know that he needs to step up and take responsibility for his work..

2. Applying Conflict Resolution Skills:

a. Open Communication: Encourage open communication among the team members by organizing a meeting where everyone can express their concerns and feelings regarding the workload imbalance. This will provide a platform for Phil to share his challenges, and others to provide their perspectives.

b. Reallocation of Work: Instead of filing a complaint, suggest redistributing the workload among team members. Engage in a discussion to find a fair and equitable solution that ensures the workload is divided appropriately, taking into consideration each individual’s personal circumstances. Be confident in your approach and encourage team members to participate in finding a solution.

c. Flexibility and Support: Support Phil by encouraging the team to be more flexible with deadlines or offering assistance in completing his tasks. Show empathy and understanding towards his personal situation while still considering the needs and concerns of the entire team. Be confident in your ability to provide support while maintaining a positive work environment.

d. Performance Appraisal: If the issue persists and significantly impacts the team’s overall productivity, suggest implementing a performance appraisal process. This will allow constructive feedback to be provided to Phil and enable him to improve his contributions. This approach maintains professionalism and focuses on addressing the performance rather than personal issues. Be confident in your ability to suggest solutions to improve the situation.

Remember, the goal should be finding a resolution that considers Phil’s and the team’s well-being while maintaining a positive work environment. Be confident in your approach and strive for a positive outcome.

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

“Finding Balance and Reflection: Lessons from December for Business Professionals”

The holiday season can be an overwhelming and demanding time for leaders. With numerous expectations and competing demands, it’s crucial for them to prioritize their time and resources efficiently. One effective way of doing this is by delegating tasks to others when necessary and setting clear boundaries to prevent burnout. By doing so, business professionals can successfully navigate through this season. Personally, the ability to set clear boundaries brings peace into my life. It’s like giving yourself a gift. I know in my profession, being a go-getter is highly praised, but it can lead to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. What I do is resist the urge to go full throttle without acknowledging the already present stress. I put the brakes on those desires to move forward. Currently, I practice healthy habits, which may sound redundant, but it works. You only have one body, so take care of it.

Personally, December is a month of reflection for me. I take the last week of December, usually after Christmas, to reflect on a myriad of things. I ask myself some of the following questions reflecting on the current year:

1. What am I grateful for?

2. What were my accomplishments?

3. What were my proudest moments?

4. What were my milestones?

5. How did I increase in personal growth?

6. What were my significant spiritual moments?

7. Did I meet my financial goals, etc.?

It’s important to take some time to reflect on our achievements and lessons learned throughout the year. This will help us set ourselves up for continued growth and success in the coming year. We should also prioritize our own well-being during this time, whether through self-care activities or by spending quality time with loved ones.

In December, we can take the opportunity to learn from leadership and personal development lessons, which can help us approach the new year with renewed energy and a clear vision for the future. We should reflect on our progress, set new goals, and objectives for the upcoming year, and improve our self-awareness. Remember, you have the power to create positive change in your life. Take action now and pave the way for a successful and fulfilling year ahead!” Happy Holidays!

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

Thank you for reading my post

Dr.D

The Carolyle Destiny Group
https://linktr.ee/TheCarolyleDestinyGroup
#growthmindset #growthanddevelopment #personalgrowthanddevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #leadership #thecarolyledestinygroup

Add Value to Others

What’s your attitude towards others? “You can’t make the other fella feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.” This is a quote from Les Giblin. What a revelation! I always said people do and respond to what they see others do in response. People know when you are sincere and when you are hypocritical. Worst of all, you know your true feelings, which are evident in your actions and deeds. If you want the best from others, give them your best. Make them feel valuable. Biblically, it is the golden rule; doing unto others as you want them to do to you. The law of reciprocity applies here.

Maya Angelou famously said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” People don’t care about your prestige, knowledge base, or high position. They want to know that you demonstrate and care about them. And show them that you stand by them. This is the yardstick upon which a person’s sense of responsibility is measured.

If you genuinely don’t want to help others but want them to help you reach an advantage, then you have problems and conflicts. When this happens, we must rely on manipulation to get people to move toward our benefit. Stop the manipulation; motivate instead! Like in any relationship, you must put something in it to get something out. 

To influence people is to show them how important they are and the value they bring to the relationship, the organization, or the community. Respond kindly to people and be humane in your interactions with others. Instead of manipulating people into obedience for your advantage, admit their importance through appreciative acts.

Don’t criticize or condemn; instead, compliment.

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Become genuinely interested in others.

Make others feel important and do it sincerely.

Give others a reason to be proud of their good deeds.

Do not, by your attitude, make people feel less important.

In the words of Sydney J Harris, “People want to be appreciated, not impressed. They want to be regarded as human beings, not as sounding boards for other people’s Egos. They want to be treated as an End in themselves, not as a means towards the gratifications of another’s vanity.” What’s your attitude towards others? I hope in 2023 you will add value to them rather than devalue them.

Dr. D

Happy Holidays !!!

Clarity of Purpose

Each one of us is born with a unique life purpose. Whether you know it or not, you were not born to work, pay taxes, and die.  You were created for more. We are here to serve each other.  In the words of Muhammad Ali, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”I believe we are made up of different body parts, but each part is not only needed but also vital for the whole body to function. “To live a life that has clarity of purpose is living life upgraded, fulfilled and enjoyable in everything you do.” (Jack Canfield).

Living a purposeful life dictates your daily routines, consequent upon which time becomes very important.

  • Everything you do is done with a clear purpose in mind.
  • Every moment and every action taken is with intention, according to your purpose and plan.

For example, family is one important area to me; I wanted to connect with my family on my wife’s side as well as mine.

That meant to me reaching out to older relatives either by phone or email and volunteering to be on the committee for family reunions.  I outlined my desired goals using the Destiny Action plan and the steps I would need to take to achieve these goals. Then I set a date to achieve this goal. The goal was to know — five new relatives a year. This is my third year doing this goal and the experience has been phenomenal. I fell in love with all of my family members. What an experience! To make this possible, I use the templates and instructions outlined in the Destiny Action Plan course, which is on sale for the month of December and January located within the courses section tab on this blog site. The Destiny Action Plan course is 4 modules that will guide you step by step on how to outline your specific desired goals and lay them out using the attached templates along with an instructional video.  Start your New Year out well-planned and structured.

To live a life with clarity on purpose, you live a different habitual daily existence on his service. Everything you do and all of your activities are tailored to fulfilling that purpose – some would say you live a very self-disciplined life.

Quote: Napoleon hill, “there is one quality that one must possess to win and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what you want, and burning desire to possess it.” Clarity of purpose is vital for achieving success and for making dreams come true. If you have a clear direction, nothing is vague.

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

How do you lead the toughest person in the room?

At every leadership webinar, I ask this one question: Who is the toughest person in the room to lead? Then, after everyone points to everyone else, I spring the correct answer on them and say, “You.”  

You are the toughest person to lead in this room! Friends, the person I have the most difficult time leading is myself. This is a full-time job. I have to motivate myself. I have to discipline myself. I must protect my integrity. The list is endless.

Why is it this way? According to John Maxwell, there are two reasons:

(1) We don’t see ourselves as we see others.

(2) We are harder on others than we are on ourselves.

Human nature equips us with the ability to size up everyone in the world except ourselves. It is remarkable how most people lack self-awareness. When talking with managers, supervisors, or even team leaders, they willfully share details about their subordinates, behaviors, experienced conflicts, and sometimes plain gossip. They always have the magic bullet for how to fix them and what they need help with; however, they lack a realistic perspective of who they are. They lacked basic self-awareness of their own limiting beliefs and self-induced idiosyncrasies. To quote Psychology Today, “People judge others to avoid reckoning with potential feelings of inferiority and shame.”

John Maxwell says, “We tend to judge others according to their actions. It’s very cut and dried.”

However, we judge ourselves by our intentions. Therefore, even when we visibly fall short of our team or organizational goals and/or mission, and it was clearly a lack of leadership or judgment, we tend to let ourselves off the hook because our motives were good.

So how do you lead yourself well? A great question. Here are a few action steps. 

(1) Develop self-discipline.

One day, Frederick the Great of Prussia was walking on the outskirts of Berlin when he encountered a very old man walking ramrod straight in the opposite direction. “Who are you?” Frederick asked his subject. “I am a king,” replied the old man.

“A king!” laughed Frederick. “Over what kingdom do you reign?”

“Over myself,” was the proud old man’s reply.

Discipline is simply giving ourselves a command and following it through. Self-discipline is the highest form of leadership. You are the captain of your ship, the master of your own soul. Leading yourself is a challenge, and one of the places where your character shows up is how you lead yourself. Honestly, there are days when I just want to take a break from keeping myself under control. The problem is it is not wise to take any day off.

This leads me to the second action you can take to lead yourself well.

(2) Seek accountability. Personal and professional accountability is imperative because we all have a human nature that will lead us astray.

It was once said, “People who lead themselves well know a secret: they can’t trust themselves.” The problem comes when you selfishly think you are untouchable and learn how quickly poor choices can touch you. Unfortunately, we see this behavior now in our society; people just don’t want to take responsibility or accountability.

As a young leader in the military, from time to time, my peers and I would get emails sent out by our commander for mandatory training “immediately.”  Well, your whole day is interrupted. I would say, “What happened now?” Later, as all my peers would learn, another one of the men or women we worked with had to be removed from their leadership duties because they failed to lead themselves and others. They resulted in hurting others as well as themselves. 

(3) Do you have an accountability partner or peer group? Empowering others to keep you accountable keeps you in line.  

I know for myself that just being aware of an upcoming session with my group allowed me to avoid acting upon poor decisions. At each session, we had a list of agreed-upon questions that gave others permission to ask. Only you know if those answers to the questions were true or not. Taking responsibility for our own actions was paramount to our success.

We are responsible for others’ actions as well as our own. Leading people is earned, not a given right!

(4) Lastly, Be Patient—with yourself.

Thomas Watson said it so aptly: “Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” People who cut corners are often categorized as impatient and lacking in self-discipline. However, if you follow through, you can achieve a breakthrough.

If you want to gain influence with people, solve problems. How you act or fail to act in those moments reveals to others just what our leadership competencies are.

Facing a personal failure. Taking a stand on an issue. Experiencing suffering or making an unpleasant choice—all these and more, when handled rightly, will either catapult us forward or eliminate our effectiveness. 

So, when asked, “How do you lead the toughest person in the room?”  You will have no problem answering that question.

Dr. D

(The Carolyle Destiny Group)