What’s your attitude towards others? “You can’t make the other fella feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.” This is a quote from Les Giblin. What a revelation! I always said people do and respond to what they see others do in response. People know when you are sincere and when you are hypocritical. Worst of all, you know your true feelings, which are evident in your actions and deeds. If you want the best from others, give them your best. Make them feel valuable. Biblically, it is the golden rule; doing unto others as you want them to do to you. The law of reciprocity applies here.
Maya Angelou famously said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” People don’t care about your prestige, knowledge base, or high position. They want to know that you demonstrate and care about them. And show them that you stand by them. This is the yardstick upon which a person’s sense of responsibility is measured.
If you genuinely don’t want to help others but want them to help you reach an advantage, then you have problems and conflicts. When this happens, we must rely on manipulation to get people to move toward our benefit. Stop the manipulation; motivate instead! Like in any relationship, you must put something in it to get something out.
To influence people is to show them how important they are and the value they bring to the relationship, the organization, or the community. Respond kindly to people and be humane in your interactions with others. Instead of manipulating people into obedience for your advantage, admit their importance through appreciative acts.
Don’t criticize or condemn; instead, compliment.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Become genuinely interested in others.
Make others feel important and do it sincerely.
Give others a reason to be proud of their good deeds.
Do not, by your attitude, make people feel less important.
In the words of Sydney J Harris, “People want to be appreciated, not impressed. They want to be regarded as human beings, not as sounding boards for other people’s Egos. They want to be treated as an End in themselves, not as a means towards the gratifications of another’s vanity.” What’s your attitude towards others? I hope in 2023 you will add value to them rather than devalue them.
Dr. D
Happy Holidays !!!
