Author: The Carolyle Destiny Group

Greetings, I am pleased to introduce you to my blog site, which aims to provide a comprehensive research perspective focused on essential workplace topics such as personal development, team building, management and leadership, diversity, and much more. These topics are vital in driving organizational success in the public and private sectors. Organizational Behavior (OB) is the field of study that examines human behavior in corporate settings, exploring the interface between human behavior and the organization. My blog draws insights from this discipline to help today's organizations navigate the increasingly complex nature of the modern workplace. With over 40 years of experience serving as a Gulf War Veteran and Senior Army Warrant Officer in logistics and a retired Department of the Army civilian, human have witnessed firsthand how human behavior is ever-changing, sometimes by the minute. Furthermore, embracing diversity can profoundly impact an organization, leading to greater creativity, efficiency, effectiveness, and productivity. Ultimately, these factors contribute to the happiness of stakeholders - the American people. In the 21st century, organizations must find ways to harness the creativity of their diverse workforces to remain competitive. This involves generating ideas, enhancing social skills, and appreciating other cultures and traditions. Organizations that invest in their employees and practice diversity will benefit from the most significant workforce in the world: the American Worker. Join me as we explore the fascinating world of OB together and discover valuable insights that can help you advance your career and achieve long-term success in the workplace.

Reprogram your brain!

No lasting change ever came about without consistent effort, and in terms of personal growth, this often involves getting a little uncomfortable.

The ‘growth mindset’ is defined as an individual’s belief that their talents and contributions have the ability to be developed through hard work, practice, and patience. Those who instead believe their abilities to be innate and unchangeable are said to possess a fixed mindset.

While our current life situations may be sustainable, even somewhat comfortable, the fact remains that by staying within these comfort zones we automatically close ourselves off to the possibility of thriving and living a life rich in passion, inspiration, and creativity.

The study of the neural pathways within the brain has proven that over time, our brains become accustomed to functioning in a certain way. This creates stronger pathways that are reinforced every time we act that way or think specific thoughts. (This is why habits are so hard to break!) When we adapt our thoughts and beliefs, we are literally reprogramming our brain.

It’s important to know that by knowingly re-directing our thoughts, we can influence changes in the brain. This leads to the cultivation of stronger, more positive pathways which will lead to a growth mindset.

To determine if you have a growth or fixed mindset, read each of the following statements and decide whether you mostly agree or disagree with it:

1. Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change very much.
2. You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are.
3. No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it quite a bit.
4. You can always substantially change how intelligent you are.

Questions 1 and 2 reflect a fixed-mindset. Questions 3 and 4 point to a growth mindset.

To learn more about your mindset, and how to change, visit http://bit.ly/FixedMindset

We are motivated to educate as many people as possible which is why we host many events. From in-person educational experiences to virtual webinars, masterclasses, and even parties to celebrate our clients, we encourage everyone to get involved with all of our offerings. Take a look at all of our exciting 5 week Masterclass December 4th, 2021

click here: https://selfassessmentandactionplancourse.now.site/home

—

The Carolyle Destiny Group

(Tomorrow’s Destiny Becomes Today’s Direction)-JM

Sign up for our newsletter: https://carolyledestiny.leadingthebest.com/LCN0001

Our Monthly Newsletter

Created to put balance in your life…

With over 40 million Americans suffering from some form of anxiety, it’s time we took a long hard look at our beliefs and the society which cultivates them.

Fear can manipulate situations and cause us to subconsciously make choices and take actions that do not directly align with our values and beliefs. Fear underlies almost every wrong decision, negative reaction, and notions of self-doubt we’ve ever had.

Anxiety, panic, apprehension, and anger are forms of fear having manipulated itself and tricked us into thinking otherwise. The result? Many people end up self-medicating or abusing substances, so they don’t have to deal with the fears, thinking that by temporarily ignoring it, we are breaking up with it entirely.

To let go of our fears, we must first detach ourselves from them, which means cultivating a sense of self-awareness. Confronting your fears is the only way to access the ability to transform and break away from them.

A great technique that can help those seeking to let go of fears once and for all is to examine the worst-case scenario for whatever you’re fearing.

To start, zero into precisely what your fear is – try to narrow it down to a word or sentence if you can. This step can often prove the most challenging, especially for those unaccustomed to facing difficult emotions head-on. The key to this step is to be open, aware, and honest with yourself. Try writing down your fears if you’re struggling to dissect them.

Next, imagine the worst-case scenario surrounding each fear. By sitting through this discomfort, it becomes possible for you to release the feasibility of the situation and evaluate its likelihood.

Finally, take note of how each fear makes you feel paying particular attention to where in your body you feel it. For example, you may experience a tightness in the chest or nerves in your stomach. Over time you will recognize this feeling so you can address your fear before it gets out of control.

Confronting our fears while in a ‘safe’ environment is the best way to strengthen us to combat them when they might arise in an unexpected situation.

We are motivated to educate as many people as possible which is why we host many events. From in-person educational experiences to virtual webinars and even parties to celebrate our clients, we encourage everyone to get involved with all of our offerings. Take a look at all of our exciting events here: carolyledestiny.leadingthebest.com

Check Out Our Website: https://thecarolyledestinygroup.now.site/home

Sign up for Newsletters called Life Coaching
https://carolyledestiny.leadingthebest.com/LCN0001

Please visit my blogsite and enjoy many other monthly articles at http://dcdardentalks.com

Invest In Others

The second principle focuses on this idea: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Zig Ziglar said it best—if you help enough people get what they want, then they will help you to get what you want. Your direction in life is determined by not only what you do for yourself, but how you invest your money, love, and time into others. It’s important to show someone that they are valuable—that they are not forgotten. Remember that we are all connected together. When you help one, you help all.   

                As I was pursuing my master’s in Human Relations at the University of Oklahoma, the program required me to do an internship. I chose to work with troubled youth from military families. I remember being paired with one young man in particular who was very quiet, reserved, and respectful. It’s possible that both of his parents were in the military. He got into the program because he got caught stealing from the military exchange store. Since he was underaged, the military authorities put him in this program; he lost his privileges and was put on probation for six months. When I met this young man, he was stuck in this unfortunate, cyclical stage of his life. Upon talking with him, I discovered that he was fascinating, creative, and introspective. What a wonderful mind and thought patterns he displayed. However, no one was listening to him and his struggles. While working with him, I didn’t impose the “why” or “what you should do” lessons of life on him. I simply listened and helped him realize that the answers were inside of him.

As time went on, he realized that I was not a threat. We connected.  I remember that sometimes, during our sessions together, we would sit for long periods of time on the bleachers at the gymnasium watching other guys play ball. In these moments, we would have little to no words of communication, and instead forged a bond of trust through the silence and togetherness. I showed myself to be friendly.  Abe Lincoln once famously said, “If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” Once trust was formed, this young man’s walls came crashing down. The more he talked and opened up, the more I listened. All he wanted was someone to listen—something his parents, teachers, and society had never given him. In John Maxwell’s book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, John would say, “If you want to get results, you’ve got to get better at connecting with people.” After I finished the program, I understood that the young man’s life had turned around. His perspective about life, home, and his grades had shifted—all because someone listened to him.

This experience allowed me to understand something core about myself: the greatest joy rests in giving back to others. I now possess a philosophy about life and how you should live it. One should break their life into thirds. One third of your life, you learn; one third of your life you earn; and the other third of your life, you return. The greatest example of the “return” stage is to invest in others: give back to your community, your job, and your loved ones. I promise you that someone is waiting for you to listen.

Dr. Derrick Darden, PhD

Please visit my blogsite and enjoy many other monthly articles at http://dcdardentalks.com

Thank you from The Carolyle Destiny Group website: https://thecarolyledestinygroup.one

            Authenticity

The most-quoted regrets people express on their deathbeds are: “I wish I’d had the courage to be true to myself”, “I’d wish I’d had the courage to not live the life others expected me to live,” and “I wanted to express my true feelings but was too afraid.”

I was prompted to write this article by the word “authenticity”. I wanted to reach the reader(s) and present a larger perspective in the hope of helping someone who may be struggling with the question “Who am I?” and narrow the scope for them as they began to define their authentic self

We know that authenticity means being true to oneself. After all, if you can’t be you, then who can you be? But this definition is too narrow and lacks clarity. It especially loses its meaning when people apply it to different contexts, such as jewelry from a different region of the world, food, or one’s personality and behavior.

However, researchers suggest using the word “congruence” to establish the essence of authenticity, which means to be in harmony and in agreement with oneself.  Researchers propose a big-picture view of this word.

When we talk about authenticity (as a noun), we’re talking about an abstract concept; it’s the degree to which a person’s actions align with their beliefs and desires.

“Authentic” is also an adjective meaning to that the origin of a thing is undisputed. If I plant apple seeds in the right environment, I expect to grow an apple tree, not a pear tree. So it is with our character, attitudes, behaviors, beliefs systems. They all should be reliable, genuine, and trustworthy. We all possess these characteristics, and I hope the reader exhibits them.  The old saying “actions speak louder than words” comes to mind. Actions are authentic.

By exploring their findings, these researchers produced a conceptual framework based on four different conceptual meanings of authenticity: Continuity, Consistency, Conformity, and Connection.

The old view of this word authenticity reflected the state of being static. However, researchers now believe that authenticity should be viewed as a four-dimensional conceptual framework. Why? People change over time. They mature and adopt certain narratives in their lives that develop into new belief systems, new ideas about life and growth. In essence, people GROW UP.  These new perspectives become a part of their true self. Just think back to your first boyfriend or girlfriend in first grade. I’m pretty sure your thoughts about them have changed since then.

Continuity refers to growth, which is an important part of authenticity. There is a continuous process to growth and maturity, to developing and aligning oneself with the true “you”. To quote John Maxwell, “Growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow will be better.” It suggests that we are always evolving, ever changing, and maturing at different stages of our lives. Our value system changes, as does our behavior towards things we may not have had patience with years ago. Now we’ve learned the value of being patient people at our place of employment or business, etc. We evolve our attitudes, which changes our beliefs about things.  Furthermore, without saying a word, there’s a congruent relationship with others around you and with those social norms that coincide in a harmonious fashion with the evolving you(self).

The second dimension of authenticity is Consistency, which means that the true (internal) you is aligned with your external representation. What people see on the outside is what you are on the inside. This is based on the values you hold near and dear. There’s a congruent or harmonious relationship between both the internal and external representation of you. Paul Evans, in his song “Authentic Me”, sums up the essence of authenticity: “So, this is who I am, behind the wall/don’t be afraid to let it show”.

The third dimension, Connection, means being true to oneself. It suggests that the people you hang around with all have a strong commonality – the same values, characteristics, beliefs. You see them as you see yourself.  You are almost a carbon copy of those you connect with. When people see this representation you present, they believe you are associated with this group. They think: “Birds of a feather flock together.”

The last conceptual meaning of the word authenticity is Conformity.  This suggests that your true self agrees with the social norms that align with your belief system. You abide by, live by, and accept in a harmonious fashion the by-laws, principles, or practices with those you associate with, the peers, or communities that align with your true self.

 The core theme that makes this authenticity a true representation of you is Congruence. Your outside presentation of self is in a harmonious relationship with all four of these conceptual meanings of authenticity.

The benefits of being authentic and congruent are that we know who we really are, and if you don’t like the true you, then you can change who you are. This is the beauty of continuity in this framework. If you don’t like who you are, you can start on the path towards change. In my March blog, I talked about the Law of the Environment. I love this quote by John Maxwell: “For growth to happen, your environment must be conducive to growth.” If this is not your present situation, “Make it Happen!”

What impedes your progress towards authenticity? Research suggests that it’s often inconsistent behaviors that contradict your belief system. I might discuss this topic in another article or blog. When there’s discord or non-congruency in our lives, our environment, or we accept negative societal norms, our progress towards true alignment with ourselves is impeded. Our disposition will demonstrate the conflict of these inconsistent behaviors both internally and externally.  Mentally, they will stand in our way. Everything we are or want to represent will disagree. This inhibits our true self-expression of who we are (the “authentic me” in the lyrics of Paul Evans). 

We all experience confusion, discord, and madness throughout our lives, and in the people and environments we surround ourselves with.  

So take back control of the authentic you. Regain your self-worth. Stop the negative self-talk, live your full potential in this life. “Let it go/let it show” so the world can see the authentic you.

Dr. D

https://thecarolyledestinygroup.one/home//https://thecarolyledestinygroup.one/monthly_webinar

The Purpose Driven Life

What determines how you spin your time, where you go what you think about, how you conduct your life while occupying space on this earth. It’s knowing your purpose. It’s having that sense of direction knowing that you have a reason for your existence in life. You were not born to work for someone else, you have a destiny to fulfill on this planet. You have a gift to deposit on this earth.  It’s a great feeling to wake up every morning and knowing the direction you must travel in order to realize that dream or conquer that objective that’s having a purpose.  Whatever is driving you to climb those mountains of adversity or rushing every morning out of the house, to fight the hostile traffic, just to work with people that make you feel marginalize, undervalue and underappreciated. My hope is that you are walking in the fulness of your life. Your life has a focus and reason for existing hear on earth.

 The purpose driven person has a sense of direction. Is this you? Having a sense of direction is having a meaningful existence, this reality quenches the fears and anxieties that so many of us experience when we are not walking in that existence, which gives us direction which determines our destination, and this moves us towards our desired destiny. This is having a sense of purpose.   

Purpose don’t have the attitude of life as a frivolous, carefree existence, the ideal of doing whatever you want to do without consequences. There is a focus or direction.  To quote Zig Ziglar “ you don’t want to be a wondering generality, but an aiming specific.”  Everything you do is discipline, focused and have purpose.  You are not throwing darts at a target that doesn’t exist. To quote Thomas Carlyle, “  A person with no purpose will make no progress even on the smoothest road.”  Every time I think, the reason for living or “Purpose”.   People spent 20, 30 years of their lives, hustling and bustling just wondering through life. They don’t have a specific target that they are aiming for, they are wondering generalities. Then they may look back and wonder, what have I done all of my life.

I have a dear friend, Richard that I met through the John Maxwell confidence builders’ program which is an accountability program that will enable you to partner with two like-minded John Maxwell Team (JMT) members to move forward on your goals and dreams, building confidence with action and accountability.  We met every week through zoom and encourage each other to meet those weekly goals previously set.  I benefited greatly by being accountable to another person who will slightly nudge me to meet those goals.

 On our second meeting he told me about his cancer he was fighting. And that the end of life looks certain for him.   Richard, wanted to continue to work, despite his frequent hospital visits.  His body bleeding internally and fighting with the bouts of bodily weakness as the chemo kills off the good and bad blood cells of his body.  He expressed wanting to get his business up and running and returning back to work which was his fulfillment.  Despite all of its short comings.  On the day we were supposed to meet on a zoom conference call. When he didn’t show up on zoom, my mind was racing, and I thought the worse.  I sent him an email immediately waiting for his reply. He returned my email, explaining that he was in the hospital and just got out of surgery. I told him that my family and I would pray for his full recovery. He wrote back and say “I decided today after learning the expectations of my cancer, to retire from his Government job right away and therefore have more time to devote to the JMT and my family.”  I wrote back in a return email, “I feel that family is more important. Talk with you soon.”  Richard found his purpose late in life that was sharing and teaching others the John Maxwell method of Leadership as he continues to work at his Government job, as he frequently complained about the conditions, workers, the mislead politicians while fighting his disease. I hope to talk with Richard, soon.

When I think about this topic of purpose, a song made famous by Diana Ross in the theme of Mahogany.  I think about the song she sings.  Diana Ross depicts the character Tracy Chambers, who reached the famous heights in the fashion industry, but it was met with a marred existence and tragedy. She sings the lyrics “Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing’ you? Where are you going to? Do you know?

Do you get what you’re hoping’ for, when you look behind you, there’s no open doors
What are you hoping’ for?  Do you know?” Don’t get at the end of life, to finally live your purpose in life.

 Examine your life, are you living in your true existence? Think about the following thoughts.

1. Take an assessment of your life, think back on at that one dream as a child or teenager that made an impact in your life.  Revisit that place. Sometimes our childhood dreams and visions are the beginnings path of our purpose towards fulfillment in this existence.

2. What motivates your life, will get you up going without being nudged. What brings you joy, because they said what brings you joy motivates your life and what motivates your life brings meaning to your life what brings meaning to your life drives your life, and what drives it controls it and what controls your life is your purpose in life.

3. Surround yourself around people who are examples of the life that you want to live. Those that have a sense of direction, visionaries about life. Surround yourself with those folks!

Thrive in Life with purpose!

Dr. D

Website://thecarolyledestinygroup.now.site

Blog:// dcdardentalks.com