Category: Leadership

Add Value to Others

What’s your attitude towards others? “You can’t make the other fella feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.” This is a quote from Les Giblin. What a revelation! I always said people do and respond to what they see others do in response. People know when you are sincere and when you are hypocritical. Worst of all, you know your true feelings, which are evident in your actions and deeds. If you want the best from others, give them your best. Make them feel valuable. Biblically, it is the golden rule; doing unto others as you want them to do to you. The law of reciprocity applies here.

Maya Angelou famously said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” People don’t care about your prestige, knowledge base, or high position. They want to know that you demonstrate and care about them. And show them that you stand by them. This is the yardstick upon which a person’s sense of responsibility is measured.

If you genuinely don’t want to help others but want them to help you reach an advantage, then you have problems and conflicts. When this happens, we must rely on manipulation to get people to move toward our benefit. Stop the manipulation; motivate instead! Like in any relationship, you must put something in it to get something out. 

To influence people is to show them how important they are and the value they bring to the relationship, the organization, or the community. Respond kindly to people and be humane in your interactions with others. Instead of manipulating people into obedience for your advantage, admit their importance through appreciative acts.

Don’t criticize or condemn; instead, compliment.

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Become genuinely interested in others.

Make others feel important and do it sincerely.

Give others a reason to be proud of their good deeds.

Do not, by your attitude, make people feel less important.

In the words of Sydney J Harris, “People want to be appreciated, not impressed. They want to be regarded as human beings, not as sounding boards for other people’s Egos. They want to be treated as an End in themselves, not as a means towards the gratifications of another’s vanity.” What’s your attitude towards others? I hope in 2023 you will add value to them rather than devalue them.

Dr. D

Happy Holidays !!!

Clarity of Purpose

Each one of us is born with a unique life purpose. Whether you know it or not, you were not born to work, pay taxes, and die.  You were created for more. We are here to serve each other.  In the words of Muhammad Ali, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”I believe we are made up of different body parts, but each part is not only needed but also vital for the whole body to function. “To live a life that has clarity of purpose is living life upgraded, fulfilled and enjoyable in everything you do.” (Jack Canfield).

Living a purposeful life dictates your daily routines, consequent upon which time becomes very important.

  • Everything you do is done with a clear purpose in mind.
  • Every moment and every action taken is with intention, according to your purpose and plan.

For example, family is one important area to me; I wanted to connect with my family on my wife’s side as well as mine.

That meant to me reaching out to older relatives either by phone or email and volunteering to be on the committee for family reunions.  I outlined my desired goals using the Destiny Action plan and the steps I would need to take to achieve these goals. Then I set a date to achieve this goal. The goal was to know — five new relatives a year. This is my third year doing this goal and the experience has been phenomenal. I fell in love with all of my family members. What an experience! To make this possible, I use the templates and instructions outlined in the Destiny Action Plan course, which is on sale for the month of December and January located within the courses section tab on this blog site. The Destiny Action Plan course is 4 modules that will guide you step by step on how to outline your specific desired goals and lay them out using the attached templates along with an instructional video.  Start your New Year out well-planned and structured.

To live a life with clarity on purpose, you live a different habitual daily existence on his service. Everything you do and all of your activities are tailored to fulfilling that purpose – some would say you live a very self-disciplined life.

Quote: Napoleon hill, “there is one quality that one must possess to win and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what you want, and burning desire to possess it.” Clarity of purpose is vital for achieving success and for making dreams come true. If you have a clear direction, nothing is vague.

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

Celebrating our new monthly Personal Development Newsletter

Do you want to stop living with shattered dreams or take that fragmented life to the next level? Are there discrepancies between what you desire in your heart and what you are doing with your life?
When was the last time you assessed your goals and values? Can’t remember? Then how do you know if you’re living up to your potential? Personal development is a lifelong pursuit to better yourself through new experiences, education, and more. I’m launching a monthly newsletter to help you find fulfillment and satisfaction in all aspects of your life—if you’re ready to grow, opt in today!
https://carolyledestiny.leadingthebest.com/EEPD0001
Thank you

The Carolyle Destiny Group
https://linktr.ee/TheCarolyleDestinyGroup

Work-Life Balance Is Obsolete

An exciting article from Your Workplace, welcome your comments

For years, Your Workplace has touted the importance of work-life balance. We even made it part of our corporate values statement. If balancing work on the one hand with life on the other was a cause to uphold, then I was the champion in our workplace — and one of its biggest proponents beyond our walls as well.

But like all movements toward change, we usually have to endorse an extreme version of it first, ensuring momentum is created to make that change occur. Eventually, the extreme version gives way to a more moderate stance and ultimately settles somewhere in the middle. And a movement away from the concept of work-life balance is no exception.

If it is better for you to attend a parent’s appointment at 1pm and finish a report at 6am, then do it.

The notion that we each have two separate lives — one work and one life — requiring different treatment is unreasonable. The long-held notion of ensuring your personal life does not suffer at the expense of your work responsibilities, by compartmentalizing each to ensure carefully walking the fine line between the two, is obsolete. In order to find the right balance, the proper amount of time must be given to allow things to settle to a more “natural” stage. By pitting work against life there is an implication that work is the negative experience and life is the positive one. Why should work be perceived as negative? We spend the bulk of our waking hours at work, earning a living to support ourselves and our family. The experience should be enriching, and if not that, at least a reality within our lives.

We have to let go of the unachievable idea of work-life balance and start looking at things with a more individualistic lens. We are singular whole people, and every effort or action we take should be rooted in approaching each other holistically.

Whether you are grocery shopping, preparing a presentation, chairing a meeting, taking an elderly parent to an appointment, dealing with being short-staffed, going for a brisk walk at lunch or cheering on your child’s soccer game, it should be understood that it all makes up the threads of the tapestry of our very existence.

Isolating work from life is not only impossible but it places enormous strain, anxiety and tension on an unachievable goal.

Life is fluid and organic. We no longer have to compartmentalize the difference aspects of our selves. We no longer have to balance one against the other. We can have it all. Breaking down time to do work between 8am to 4pm, dinner from 5pm to 6pm, kids homework (or sport) from 6pm to 8pm or whatever your formula is, needs to stop. If it works for you, fine. But if it is better for you to attend a parent’s appointment at 1pm and finish a report at 6am, then do it. We are responsible adults after all.

Think about what is important to you. Make a list and prioritize.

The needs of individuals are constantly shifting. Allowing the whole person to show up at work (and at home) requires an investment in understanding mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.

Who you are is who you are everywhere. No matter where you go, there you are, so it’s important to integrate work and life together rather than separating the different aspects of self in order to fit some pre-determined label of how work and life are supposed to exist.

credit to: VERA ASANIN

The Carolyle Destiny Group
https://linktr.ee/TheCarolyleDestinyGroup
#growthmindset #growthanddevelopment #personalgrowthanddevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #leadership #thecarolyledestinygroup

Success Thrives in Conducive Surroundings

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The basic principle of success is constant growth and achievement of your next goal. It is done through dedication, commitment, perseverance, and hard work. What it also requires from you is a conducive environment where it can flourish.

Such an environment can be produced when you surround yourself with like-minded, successful individuals. These are people who share your vision for success, and who believe in your goals as much as you do. The quality of the people you surround yourself with will continue to have a major influence on the trajectory of your life. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned, and one that has signified to me the importance of good company. I learned through Jim Rohn, that we become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most. He would continue this thought by saying, “you can tell the quality of health, attitude, and income of this person by looking at the people around them.”

The individuals in our lives serve as a catalyst: they can either help us reach ever-higher heights in our lives or become blocks that prevent success. I have been lucky in being surrounded by individuals who shared my values and goals, from family to teachers and mentors. The roles they have played at critical junctures of my life have helped me determine who I am, and the direction my life has taken.

The book of Matthew states “Do not give dogs what is sacred, do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” This is a simple lesson in surrounding yourself with people who understand and share your values and goals, rather than those who would trample them.

There are a great many examples to be found from all around us of the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. Henry Ford, from the moment of first acquiring his wealth, to exponentially expanding it, kept himself in the company of such individuals as Thomas Edison and John Burroughs, men who shared his ideals and compassion. He tried to associate himself with great men, who possessed the knowledge base, intelligence, and creative thoughts that ultimately helped him on his way to immense success.

PRACTICAL EXERCISES

This is an approach we all must adopt if we wish to be truly on the path of continuous success. You must become highly selective of the people you allow in your inner circle. Do not feel bad about the people that are excluded, so defined your inner circle of friends and mentors you can call on.  At the same time, make sure you are around people who are successful, who themselves are already where you want to be.

Now go one step further. Examine your inner circle and ensure these are the people who give you confidence. Make sure they enhance your creative and decision-making abilities and give you the strength and ability to face any challenges that come your way in the pursuit of your goal.

Dr. D

The Carolyle Destiny Group

https://linktr.ee/TheCarolyleDestinyGroup