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A Self Sustaining Life

“Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

This phrase from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu has been around for hundreds of years, and embodies a universal truth and teachable principles that is held today.

I was brought up on the second part of this phrase – that by teaching a man how to fish, he’ll be able to feed himself for a lifetime. That’s just my paraphrasing of it, the meaning is powerful. The essence of this phrase sums it up like this – be self-sustaining, be self-disciplined, and be self-managed – these three maxims revolutionized my life.  Instead of always depending on others, you should learn and employ the skills you need to meet all of your needs.

One should know the skills one needs to become independent and self-sufficient.

First, a self-sustaining person, you need little help or assistance to reach your personal targets. You can meet your own needs and decide the pathway you need to take to reach the next level. When learning a new skill for example or a new language,  decide on a target you want to hit. Decide on the next level, this is self-directing your future. You are in charge.

Today, many rely on our government to survive and meet their needs for food, water and shelter. Most obtain their daily fish themselves; however, others take advantage of public programs for their own selfish gain. Becoming dependent on others for aid or support for long periods steals away your independence and self-worth.  

My mother raised a large family without my father, not because she didn’t want him to be around, but because my father was an alcoholic and abuser. His dependency was so evident to her that she refused to let him break up a peaceful home, nor allow him to influence his children’s by perpetuating his bad behavior. I once read an old saying: “Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness.”

My mother would not accept any handouts, because she hated the ideal of dependency. Now all her kids have grown up to be professionals in their perspective fields, and their hard-working ethic can be attributed to our mother. My mother taught us the art of fishing, so we could all be self-sustaining and self-sufficient throughout our lives. Sometimes all you need is to trust your own ability and strengths.

Secondly, self-discipline means your mind and body motivate your spirit to move towards the results you want to realize, free from the constraints of conformity and tradition. This can bring about a shift in your long-term circumstances. A self-disciplined life moves you towards your destiny. You make choices that line up with your goals – even down to what you wear, who you hang out with, and what foods you eat.

Third, a self-managed life boils down to this: you are taking full control over your talents and abilities and moving towards your true purpose in this life. You have a special destiny and purpose that requires self-sustaining abilities and self-discipline to reach. Self-management involves becoming reliable in all aspects of your life and moving towards success, your own set of personal goals.  Every step, every decision, every action moves you towards your ideal self.   Earl Nightingale said it best: “Success is the realization of a worthy ideal.” For example, if you desire to become a teacher, learn everything you need to know about that profession. Get up every morning to study for certifications, read books on the subject, get a mentor. Discipline your life daily, manage your life consistently, and soon you’ll realize that you’ve arrived.

Thomas Edison, the great inventor and innovator of the 20th century, embodied these principles when he invented the incandescent lamp. It took him over 10,000 tries with different materials to come up with a filament that could last for many hours. Thank God that Edison had the self-discipline to continue his pursuit of a long-lasting light bulb – if he hadn’t, we all might still be sitting in the dark, and reading by candlelight.

So learn the art of fishing. Become self-sustaining, forge your own path, and move towards your destiny. 
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Is controlling mental illness to problem to gun violence or drug addiction

Last week, people across the nation learned of the mass shootings in El Paso TX and Dayton Ohio. I saw the news in a hotel lobby with a hotel clerk who made a thought-provoking comment: “What do you expect when parents give their kids drugs?” She was alluding to our drug-cultured society, in which our children are using usage antidepressants prescribed in schools. She was suggesting that the end-result will always be violence. However, the question lingered in my mind: is there a relationship between violence such as mass shootings and mental illness, or is there a connection between drugs and violence? The buzzword “mental illness” is now front and center in the Democratic platform for the presidency. However, is it too late to look upon this illness as an epidemic?

According to the National Institutes of Health report on mental health in America in 2017, 46.6 million   adults suffer from mild to serious mental illness. Women represent the highest percentage (22.3%). Men are at 15.1%. In this survey, young adults (18-25) reported the highest incidence of mild to serious mental illness. Mental illness among whites was highest, followed by blacks and Asians.

The point is that we have a serious mental health problem in America, and our government has seriously ignored it.

According to the National Institute of Health, from 2013 to 2019, funding increased significantly between 2017 in 2018; however, in 2019, funding was reduced from $2.9 billion to $2.7 billion.

But throwing more money at the problem will not resolve it. Over the years, American society has become more resigned about not only this problem, but also other problems that plague us such as racism and unequal civil rights.

Americans have an epidemic on their hands. No more sugar-coating this problem.

So, what is the cause of the mass shootings? Does mental illness have a connection with all the gun violence that is going on? Very little, I say: research by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) says that only 3% of individuals with serious mental illnesses commit crimes with guns. And only 1% of the individuals who commit mass shootings have a mental illness. However, people that commit suicide with firearms often have a mental illness.

So, by the numbers, there’s no real connection between mass shootings and mental illness.

Now let’s look at the issue of drug usage, particularly relating to our children and mass shootings that the hotel clerk alluded to.

I have found a strong connection between crimes committed (in our case mass shootings) and the perpetrator’s usage of some type of anti-depressant or psychiatric drug (prescribed or not). Please review the following cases:

  • In 1998, a school shooting in Oregon left 4 people dead and dozens injured; the perpetrator was on Prozac, an anti-depressant.
  • In 1999, in a Colorado high school named Columbine, a school shooting left 15 dead and dozens wounded; two perpetrators were on an antidepressant at the time of the shooting.
  • In 2005 in Minnesota, a school shooting took place, and 10 people were killed and 7 were injured. The shooter was on Prozac. It was also reported a week before the shooting that the shooter was on a double dosage prescribed by his doctor.
  • In 2008 in an Illinois school, a shooter killed 6 people and injured dozens. This individual was on Prozac. It was later reported by those who knew this individual that he was very withdrawn.

There are many other school shootings that are too awful to describe, along with the mass off school campuses in Las Vegas, California, Texas and Ohio. But the majority of school shootings are committed by young people (such as Andrew Golden, age 11, taking Ritalin; and Mitchell Johnson, aged 14, who also took Ritalin and killed four students and injured 10 others).  

So what about kids that are on the stimulants prescribed for their hyperactivity (ADHD)?  

The two common drugs approved by the FDA are Adderall and Ritalin. Both have the same psychiatric side effects. The FDA warns that children need to be closely monitored when they take these drugs. The child can experience psychiatric issues such as bipolar disorder, aggressive behavior, and, worst of all, withdrawal and hearing of voices. The New York Times reported that over 3 million children in the United States over a 30-year period have taken these drugs.

How do we regain control? The only way, parents, is to start in your household. Become an observant   parent who is involved in your child’s life. Take control of your children. Psychiatrist Dr. Sydney Walker’s book, The Hyperactivity Hoax, records a variety of reasons for hyperactive behavior: “Children with early-stage brain tumors can develop symptoms of hyperactivity or poor attention.” Dr. Walker also talked about the lead-paint epidemic, in which children living in dilapidated housing built in the early 60’s to the late 70s were exposed to lead paint peeling from the walls and wood fixtures. They would show signs of irritability, problems with learning, and developmental delays. Today, these children would have been diagnosed with ADHD.  It’s scary to think about the epidemic that is about to be unleashed.  I think this is the tip of the iceberg.  

Just as our government has been ignoring the problem of global warming, so too will this problem will show its irreversible destructive head.

However, parents, involve yourself in your child’s life. Involve yourself in your child’s school. Our children are being psychologically diagnosed by amateurs who are subjugating our children to psychiatric drugs that will harm them for life – and maybe make them a threat to our community and society. So be your child’s voice. Get involved with the political and legislative process that focuses on protecting our children from being experimented on in our school systems. Get involved with your community and your local law enforcement when you see abusive behavior in our neighborhoods.

Last but not least, we need to get back to strong family values, because the lack of them has been eroding our American way of life.

The Bible verse I think is appropriate in this moment is  2nd Chronicles 7:14 (NIV): “If my People who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive them their sins and will heal their land.”   

Derrick C. Darden, PhD

References:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/284156856

https://www.naturalnews.com/039752_mass_shootings_psychiatric_drugs_antidepressants.html

http://ssristories.drugawareness.org

(http://www,drugawareness.org)

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/mental-illness.shtml

this is innovative teaching!

Let’s Stop Talking About the Lack of Technical Talent, Corporate America: It’s Time to Close the Large Tech Skills Gap with Veterans. GUEST AUTHOR, KAREN ROSS, AT SHARPDECISIONS.COM

No Longer Desperate for Work, Veterans Seek More Meaningful Careers
For veterans, underemployment is the new unemployment.

With the U.S. Labor Department announcing earlier this month that low, veterans groups, advocates and veterans themselves are sounding a new alarm: underemployment.

The department cites that of the three million plus post-9/11 veterans employed in the civilian workforce today, less than 40 percent hold management, professional and related occupations.

My industry, technology, is part of the problem. For too long, technology executives have looked past veteran talent because they were seeking “industry experience.” In truth, veterans’ skillsets are highly transferrable.

We need to work hard and do more to get veterans into more STEM-based opportunities because they are equipped to do the job and do it well. This is a result of being responsible for understanding, maintaining and operating multi-million and billion-dollar military technologies and equipment.

Bridging the Technical Gap

Retraining and deployment of veterans to fill these high-in-demand roles is not as hard as many suggest. In fact, there are many resources available to source, train and place veterans effectively and quickly. Veterans have proven to thrive in corporate environments where they are hired as full-time employees, trained in teams to succeed in the highly demanding corporate world, and then deployed to clients in mutually supporting squads. It allows them to adjust to civilian life with a support system they are familiar with.

If you know anything about veterans – whether you are one, are related to one, or are passionate about veterans issues like me – you already know veterans are incredibly highly-skilled, talented and dedicated people who bring a range of rare – and in demand – attributes to the workforce.

And they know it. According to a report by Hiring Our Heroes, a nonprofit that helps place veterans in jobs, 44 percent of veterans left their first job out of the military within a year due to dissatisfaction.

It’s time corporate America made room for our veterans. And based on our labor market, that room already exists. The technology sector in particular is at a loss to fill high-skilled, tech-savvy positions with Americans. An April analysis by Fortune found that nearly 66 percent of all H-1B visa applications processed in Q1 this year were for computer and math workers. But, due to potential changes to the H-1B program from the Trump administration, CNN Money reports the number of H-1B applications has declined for the first time in five years.

What does this mean? It means that the U.S technology sector has been relying on foreign labor for years and that finally, there appears to be room for a new entrant. I propose veterans.

Why Veterans?

Veterans, who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this country, deserve more than just a job – they deserve a satisfying, challenging and meaningful career. And it’s not a matter of pity, it’s a matter of business sensibility. These men and women – both able and disabled – are dedicated problem-solvers with unmatched technological experience and a history of innovation.

Veterans are uniquely equipped to contribute to the business sector in ways civilians cannot. Not only have veterans been responsible for understanding, maintaining and operating some of the most complex systems and technologies in existence today – like naval navigation technologies, sophisticated communications systems and cyber-security programs – they are entrusted with interpreting and responding to the most sensitive military intelligence.

For corporations, this translates into reliable employees able to work under pressure, prioritize the needs of the team, communicate directly, and review and evaluate their work to achieve continuous improvement.

Add to that the military’s trademark ability to work as a cohesive team that learns and adapts to rapidly changing circumstances, which is a significant challenge facing many companies today. That’s a valuable business proposition.

In our current business and political climate, veterans are an important – and potentially game-changing – resource. Putting their mix of skills, discipline, teamwork and technical know-how to work is not only good for them – it’s good for business and our nation.

What Does Toxic Behavior Say About Us in the Workplace? (Ways of curving that Toxic Appetite) Derrick Darden, PhD

Children that challenge authority want to be empowered and in power themselves. When I grew up and attended a public school in a large city in a large neighborhood, I learned that children can be very cruel and mean to each other. Research has shown that children that don’t know how to handle conflict with their peers or adults sometimes resort to violent actions that may result in massive harm to others (i.e., through school shootings). These children choose extreme behaviors in order to exert their need to be independent and capable in the eyes of their peers.

Some outward warning signs that teachers should be aware include a refusal of the student to cooperate in the classroom, avoidance of participation in school activities, and consistent attempts to challenge authority. These are all signs of a person who feels self-defeated, has low self-esteem and feels dependent. However, research shows that the child’s actions are protective mechanisms. Professional teachers must try to understand why the child exhibits these types of behaviors. A wise teacher challenges these behaviors and guides the student to a safe and trusting environment.

I was one of these students. I didn’t want to be the center of attention or to be aggressive, but I wanted to fit in and feel accepted by my peers. Fortunately, I had mentors in my life. I recall the pastor at my mother’s church stopping me and saying vey encouraging words that have stuck with me: “You are going to be that special someone in life.” His kind words prevented much anger from manifesting in my growing years, because he showed me acceptance in a large and chaotic world. All children need is an encouraging word that they are somebody and that, as a society, we care about them.

Not having mentors and good teachers in my life while growing up in a negative environment would have lefts scars on my psyche.

But teachers must not respond emotionally or be distracted by the ethnicity or size of the student. Reacting to a preconceived idea of their personality does not provide a cure for these students. Instead, be trustworthy and make a connection with them. Never try to shape their behavior but challenge that behavior. Someone once said that what you see on the outside is not the true expression on the inside. Ignore the outside expression, and deal with the person crying out for help.

You may be asking: What does this have to do with the workplace? Well, it’s relevant because there’s almost always conflict in the workplace. It starts when certain behaviors are not immediately responded to. If our problematic childhood behaviors remain unchallenged, then they will be challenged in our adult lives, either by society or your peers in the workplace. This behavior is manifested in bullying, anger, vindictiveness, and screaming.

We all have worked with or heard of adult “babies” in the workplace. Those whose power and attention-seeking make the workplace environment psychologically negative and toxic. This makes work a hellish place that people hate coming to, all because the behavior of the negative person were never dealt with when he or she was a child.

If you’re a supervisor or team leader, have a plan of action for dealing with those who have never outgrown their disrespect for authority. Society is often not lenient, and it will not put up with disrespectful or toxic behavior in the workplace.

Here are my suggestions, based on my experience:

  1. Role Modeling – As a supervisor or team lead, you must model the behavior you want your employees or team members to mimic. In the military, we are taught to lead by example. If you want professionalism, loyalty, and good ethical behavior, then be that example. I cannot say this enough. People mimic their environment and their leaders. So, diminish the negative, and embrace positive behavior. Don’t allow favoritism to poison your work environment. Have you ever heard of a “teacher’s pet”? Well, there are also servants to the boss. This behavior diminishes creativity in the employee and lessens the chances that the organization will see its return on investment in them.
  2. Focus on the Problem – When you see undesirable behavior in an individual or group, focus on the problem. Do not let it go unattended. In my years of leadership, I have always focused on the problem child who brings that behavior into the workplace. Remember, others are watching how you deal with this unacceptable behavior. So, focus in on it like a laser beam, and zap it out!
  3. Counsel the Problem – Once you isolate the problem, isolate the perpetrator, and counsel them. Don’t do it in a negative way. Explain to the individual how her behavior is affecting the organization, team, or the work environment. Remember, you want a harmonious, efficient, and professional workplace.
  4. Reinforce Policies and Regulations – Get your organization or team members together and explain to them your organization’s policies, regulations and procedures and how to deal with unwanted behavior in the workplace. By doing this, you are establishing boundaries and providing a stable environment that drives up productivity and profitability.
  5. Record your counseling session – Finally, record your counseling session with the individual employee or team members, and outline a plan to administer appropriate punishment if more offenses happen. Remember never to hesitate to carry out your disciplinary plan when a violation occurs.

Dealing with conflicting behaviors in the workplace is a task that should never be taken lightly. It should be dealt with immediately when recognized by all leaders (i.e., teacher, supervisors, team leads or managers). Remember, once toxic behaviors get out of hand, other employees or team members will follow.