Tag: goals

My Story Behind Personal Growth/Development

                                        

Day and night, I saw the harms of drugs and gang violence. We could see the anguish on my mother’s face every day. Eventually, she succumbed to depression. We never could understand why we were staying at my grandmother’s house so much. In my book “The Enemy in the Bush”, there’s a picture of us sad-faced kids at my grandmother’s house. We had no idea what was going on in our mother’s life. But as we grew older, we did.

Mom always wanted to be a teacher when she migrated to the North. I remember her telling me when I was a child. But the reality of life stole her dreams, goals, and aspirations and she never realized her true potential. Instead, she became the head of the house, separated from my father, who was fighting his demon of alcoholism. My mother raised a total of 10 kids. When I reached the age of 11, my three older brothers moved out of the house. Seven of us, ranging from 4 through 11, remained at home. Seven children living in a three-bedroom apartment in an impoverished neighborhood. This was my reality.

As a boy, I saw my mother struggle and sacrifice just to put food on the table. Sometimes, I would hear her argue with God about the hardships she faced. Her many prayers went up to heaven to ask God to help us make it through another day. As a child, I had few of the comforts enjoyed by others who lived in the suburbs. We had lots of love, but little in the way of material things. 

My mother died without realizing her dream to be a teacher. She died with her dream still inside of her.  I made her dream a reality by becoming an adjunct professor for 10 years. Despite lacking the resources, we needed to meet our basic needs of her family, we survived. But my mother never realized her true potential and purpose in this life. I often wondered when I was older why my mother hadn’t pursued her dream. Perhaps fear and self-doubt held her back. I remember how my siblings and I made a pact never to follow our mother’s path. When I questioned the WHY behind our decision, I knew it boiled down to the struggles, hardships, and pain we saw her go through. Seven of us made this covenant, but only two of us had successful careers and made positive lifestyle changes. My sister Mary became a successful certified social worker/ supervisor working in hospitals and is moving towards private practice. I finished a successful military career as a senior ranking officer and continued as a DoD civilian working complex mission-oriented jobs for our government. I also became an adjunct professor, author, and contributing academic author. Now I’m a certified John Maxwell coach, trainer, and speaker.   

If you examine our lives, we knew where we were and had our eyes on where we wanted to go. We had a definite plan to get there. Living in impoverished conditions gave us the motivation to never lack for anything again. We wanted to be able to sustain ourselves. We were intentional about reaching our goals and never looked back. We were purpose driven. We had a direction, a destiny to reach. When we looked back, we celebrated how much we had grown.

Psychologist Charles Garfield has worked with many successful people including astronauts, world-class athletes, scientists, business leaders, and other high achievers. He believes that the success of any endeavor starts with having a mission. You must have specific goals accompanied by a strong desire. “A dream becomes a goal,” said Garfield. “The goal becomes the achievement.” I repeat this saying often. Achievers reach their dreams by being intentional in their actions, which means working with purpose and making every action count. It’s about focusing on doing the right thing, moment by moment, day by day, and then following through consistently. Successful people aren’t scattered and haphazard. As Zig Ziglar said, be an aiming specific, not a wandering generality.

Never stop improving. Never stop growing yourself. 

How intentional are you? As you proceed through your day, do you have a plan and a purpose for everything you do? Do you know where you’re going and why you’re doing what you’re doing, or simply drifting down the stream of life?

In the theme song from the motion picture Mahogany, Diana Ross brings this message home:

“Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showin’ you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?”

             By Dr. D

http://thecarolyledestinygroup.one

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#Leadership#RiskTaking#Training#Growth#Development#destiny

A Self Sustaining Life

“Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

This phrase from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu has been around for hundreds of years, and embodies a universal truth and teachable principles that is held today.

I was brought up on the second part of this phrase – that by teaching a man how to fish, he’ll be able to feed himself for a lifetime. That’s just my paraphrasing of it, the meaning is powerful. The essence of this phrase sums it up like this – be self-sustaining, be self-disciplined, and be self-managed – these three maxims revolutionized my life.  Instead of always depending on others, you should learn and employ the skills you need to meet all of your needs.

One should know the skills one needs to become independent and self-sufficient.

First, a self-sustaining person, you need little help or assistance to reach your personal targets. You can meet your own needs and decide the pathway you need to take to reach the next level. When learning a new skill for example or a new language,  decide on a target you want to hit. Decide on the next level, this is self-directing your future. You are in charge.

Today, many rely on our government to survive and meet their needs for food, water and shelter. Most obtain their daily fish themselves; however, others take advantage of public programs for their own selfish gain. Becoming dependent on others for aid or support for long periods steals away your independence and self-worth.  

My mother raised a large family without my father, not because she didn’t want him to be around, but because my father was an alcoholic and abuser. His dependency was so evident to her that she refused to let him break up a peaceful home, nor allow him to influence his children’s by perpetuating his bad behavior. I once read an old saying: “Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness.”

My mother would not accept any handouts, because she hated the ideal of dependency. Now all her kids have grown up to be professionals in their perspective fields, and their hard-working ethic can be attributed to our mother. My mother taught us the art of fishing, so we could all be self-sustaining and self-sufficient throughout our lives. Sometimes all you need is to trust your own ability and strengths.

Secondly, self-discipline means your mind and body motivate your spirit to move towards the results you want to realize, free from the constraints of conformity and tradition. This can bring about a shift in your long-term circumstances. A self-disciplined life moves you towards your destiny. You make choices that line up with your goals – even down to what you wear, who you hang out with, and what foods you eat.

Third, a self-managed life boils down to this: you are taking full control over your talents and abilities and moving towards your true purpose in this life. You have a special destiny and purpose that requires self-sustaining abilities and self-discipline to reach. Self-management involves becoming reliable in all aspects of your life and moving towards success, your own set of personal goals.  Every step, every decision, every action moves you towards your ideal self.   Earl Nightingale said it best: “Success is the realization of a worthy ideal.” For example, if you desire to become a teacher, learn everything you need to know about that profession. Get up every morning to study for certifications, read books on the subject, get a mentor. Discipline your life daily, manage your life consistently, and soon you’ll realize that you’ve arrived.

Thomas Edison, the great inventor and innovator of the 20th century, embodied these principles when he invented the incandescent lamp. It took him over 10,000 tries with different materials to come up with a filament that could last for many hours. Thank God that Edison had the self-discipline to continue his pursuit of a long-lasting light bulb – if he hadn’t, we all might still be sitting in the dark, and reading by candlelight.

So learn the art of fishing. Become self-sustaining, forge your own path, and move towards your destiny. 
 Visit: http://tripledfoundation.com ; http://entrepreneurapex.com

It’s here!!! The revised 2nd ed. ebook and Paperback is out on Amazon.

“Cooperating in the Workplace” Revised Expanded Second Edition

Normally, when a person thinks about cooperation in the workplace, they think it simply means avoiding chaos on the job. However, in reality, it means much more than that it means working productively with others to achieve a common corporate goal. For those trying to maintain a fulfilling workplace experience and encourage others to the same end, certain steps can be taken to make cooperation an objective understood and shared by all.

But let’s face it: not everyone is taught how to succeed in the workplace while working with others. Ask yourself: 

• Are you productive each day on your job, and living up to your fullest potential?

• At work, do you feel you’re lost in a confusing maze and don’t know how to escape?

• Do you feel that you want to know how to work better with millennials, deal with sexual harassment, or work with veterans?

• Do you want to learn about teamwork because you just landed a position that requires you to lead a bunch of high-speed coworkers?

As our working environment becomes more diverse and global ,our knowledge and organizational skills and behavior must develop along with those changes. Improving workplace cooperation is forefront in the minds of many who understand the importance of communication and teamwork as skills needed to reach a common goal. 

The author not only let you know what is happening in the business world, but gives you what you need to be a winner in your workplace.

As a Gulf War Veteran and Senior Army Warrant Officer who worked in the fields of logistics and Federal Acquisition in the federal government and later as an entrepreneur, I’ve seen how organizational form and structure within the federal government and in my own business experience provided foundational keys and principles that guided me to success in both the public and private sectors. 

This 2nd edition is for new employees, supervisors in mid-level management would benefit. 

On Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B07MYBQHHN?ref=sib_dp_aw_kd_udp

Blog: http:// dcdardentalks.com

Please leave a comment.

Don’t self-sabotage your own success (you have the seeds of greatness) in you!

 

 

 

What holds you back? What is keeping you from reaching your goals? So many of us are so close to having that breakthrough, but we self-sabotage the path that breaks a success. Perhaps fear rips our consciousness in a new relationship; we think of our self-worth as undervalued and marginalize our abilities. We lack the value and belief in ourselves, and we psychologically and sometimes physically self-sabotage our success from having that true break-through.

First, let us define the familiar word “success.” This word means different things to different people. Happiness, wealth, recognition, independence, friendship, achievement, and inner peace. Because we measure success differently, let’s say that it’s an individual thing. No matter what stage in life we are in, victory differs from person to person, even family to family, no matter what socioeconomic level someone may belong to.

    Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Whatever we plant in out subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will on day become a reality. (Earl Nightingale)

As we develop through life, success can be measured by different factors in an individual’s journey. For example, as a teenager, he or she feels successful when he or she gets a new car, has enough money to buy the latest fashion at the mall, or make the sports team in high school.

An individual in their thirties may have a different measure of success by having a house, a successful career path, or a family and kids. Or a 60-year-old may measure success by feeling and living a healthy life. As the old saying goes, “What’s one man success is another man’s failure.”

Success can begin at birth. A child can hear the voice of its mother’s aspirations and real ambitions in the womb. The child grows, and those subtle messages permeate the subconscious as those aspirations continue. As seeds of greatness are planted and watered, they become part of that child’s mental DNA as the mother nurtures and sow those seeds into the child’s life. The future looks bright for that child because of the principle that the sower sows the word belief. High will be that child’s success. Success can be in education, playing an instrument, or playing sports. Greater will be that child’s success because the real seeds of aspiration were sown and watered consistently.

Success can be incubated and displayed in unique and undefined ways. If you ever heard of the term “late bloomer,” no matter how and when those seeds of greatness manifest themselves, and then the flower blooms and gives off its fragrance to the world.

Again, you as an individual may define success differently and in your own unique way, but you must be fulfilled and accomplished. So, what is your definition of success? Be what you love, do something well, contribute something useful, and be yourself.

You decide…

Derrick C Darden, PhD